Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by luli_elabbar, Jun 1, 2015.

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  1. luli_elabbar

    luli_elabbar New Member

    am new emmm sweet girl "freely" i met she recomened coming her she thought it would be helpfull ,, emmm well i NEVER went to therapy so i dont know whats wrong with me exactly so ill be as honest as i can and say what ive been through
    in my teen days ive been through self harm in many ways and and smoking "now am 21" i stopped all that and my smoken issue is under control i only smoke when i feel like it,, and i tried killin my self twice AM NOT PROUD OF ALL THAT and these past months i feel empty so hollow nothing around me with meaning i feel so down all the time i barely leave the bed in the morning i dont feel like doing anything even answer my friends calls and texts i feel unmotivated so lifeless but the issue is i neve talked about it WITH ANYONE i always lie about how i truley feel i always fake smile i buy tons of makeup so i hide the darkness around my eyes i hate throwing my purden to another

    why i never went to therapy cuz my parents are very stict and they dont knw how i feel and am Scared
  2. Cicada 3301

    Cicada 3301 Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hey, I am glad you have found us. Thank you for being honest. It sounds like you are losing a lot of interest in doing things. Would you feel comfortable talking with your friends about it? Have any that you are really close to? What's your relationship with your parents like? Do you live with them? I understand it would be hard to tell them but do you think they would be able to help if you did tell them?

    When you say you have always lie about how you truly feel and put on a fake smile, that reminds me of what I did too. I was scared to tell the truth, I felt uncomfortable expressing myself, I even lied to my doctors. This site really helped me with being able to open up, I hope it can help you too. If you feel you are ready, you should seek out professional support, like doctor, therapist, counselling service to help with what you are going through.

    Anyway, welcome to the forum, sorry you are feeling so down :hug:
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