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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Kai, Jun 12, 2015.

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  1. Kai

    Kai New Member

    A while back I had most everything I owned stolen, I did the responsible thing and called the police, gave them stuff that I believed the thief left. A couple hours later they brought the man who I believed robbed my house, but insteAd of justice, I got to stand in my home for two hours and explain to the police that no i did not steal this mans things, that my home was broken into and robbed, but the truth did not matter. So I promised myself I would never feel like that again. I moved got a new crappy job and worked hard to prove myself. Now ten years latter I find out that a manager I worked for used my hard drive to download porn, but since it was mine even though I hadn't used it in two years I get fired, no matter the truth. So again I get to stand in the ruin of my life and tell the truth and again it doesn't matter. Now no matter how hard I try I hate my life more and more. I can't read books anymore cause I think about killing myself, I can't listen to music I used to love cause the lyrics change to killing myself, I wake up and my first thought is I hate myself, I spend every hour at work thinking of killing myself. I promised myself that I would wait until my brother finished college but everyday gets harder. All I feel is anger sadness pain and tired day after day.
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi hi and welcome to the foum,

    You sounds like a nice decent law abiding citizen and should not have anything to feel ashamed for, I think you need to get professional help to cope with your suicidal thouhts as they are obviously interfering and taking over every day life for you. We here will try our best to support you through this. What that mad did with the porn was pure evil, you are worth a million of him!
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I am sure the police can track who was doing the porn by asking any of the people on tape so your name can be cleared
    i am sorry that bad things keep happening to you but you killing yourself is just letting these people that harm win

    don't let them win ok
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