Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Hero0fCanton, Jul 21, 2015.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Hero0fCanton

    Hero0fCanton New Member

    So …. Hi I guess.

    I'm Trish, I'm 24 and have been dealing with suicidal thoughts since about 7 or 8 (parents aren't sure when it started exactly). Years of therapy and medication later I still deal with the “once my parents are gone I will be gone as-well” thoughts and urges on the daily. It's gotten to the point that I don't even own a dog anymore because it would just be a thing that I would need to make a backup plan for should the day ever come … and I'm a dog trainer by profession so it's a little crazy not having a furball in the house.

    Heh. I've never been able to really figure myself out let alone has anyone else been able to. I rocked College, I'm in a great career and generally can always find something to be happy about … but that doesn't erase the ever growing reality that my parents aren't getting younger and I find myself more and more unwilling to ever buy anything for myself anymore beyond basic necessities because “in a few years I won't need it so why bother”.

    Idk. Meds have never done anything besides make me super tired to the point I'm sleep 13+ hours a day or so horridly moody that there was no way in heck I could work which I always enjoyed doing so that never made any sense. Therapy, though I've gone for 14 years now has proved to do nothing either and I feel like any therapist I've ever had is always endlessly frustrated by me because I do stuff. I have friends, I volunteer, I take classes, have a great career, etc but none of that erases my nagging not so nice thoughts. Sure things could be going a whole lot better in my life but they could also be a whole lot worse so most of my days usually end with me laying in bed, staring at the ceiling wondering what the hell my problem is and why I can't just "get over it"

    I just want to get a handle on myself though after so long I find it rather unlikely I ever will I figure giving these forums a try would be better than the alternative of doing nothing though
  2. Hi Hero,

    A warm welcome to SF. :)

    You can buy things for your parents making them happy while they are still around. Seeing your own parents being happy will make you feel better. How about buying your parents a two way flight ticket for them to see the world? I believed they would be happy to be able to tour around the world together with you. Go on a holiday trip with your parents and spend more time with them. Take more photos with your parents and you can use those photos as transitional objects to cope with your bad days (looking at those happy smiling photos of you and your parents) will help. :) take care and stay safe.
  3. AAA3330

    AAA3330 Well-Known Member

    I also sit around and stare at things and wonder what my problem is. My brain is different than it used to be and I can't understand why.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.