Hi, I'm really struggling and it's been like this for 34 years, I'm just coming to the conclusion that it makes no difference what I try or do. I just don't think I can cope with another 40 years of this. I need someone to talk to that might understand what I'm feeling. Theres, Rage, Disappointment, Plain despair of whats to come. My personal life is suffocating in fog and I'm totally lost and trapped in it. Something has to change before thoughts manifest themselves into something more destructive...I just feel like I want to cause the world pain.