Hello everyone. I am 54, and I live on my own with my two cats, who I adore. I lived with my mother up until six years ago. She needed help, and I felt trapped, but things became too difficult, she was very hard to live with, and it became more than I could handle. I contacted social services and explained the situation (my mother was over 80 at the time). They came round and we spoke, then I left them alone with my mother to discuss matters after having spent over an hour with them discussing the best approach, what I should do before moving etc etc, it all went very well. I was working in Brussels two days every week, and told them that if they wished to discuss anything with me, to bear this in mind. I heard nothing for two weeks, and one evening my mother let slip they had visited twice, both times when I was in Brussels, which I though odd, but left the matter. A few weeks later, after moving, I spoke to my brother as I had heard nothing, nd that every time I called social services, there was no-one available to talk to me. He called me back inside an hour and told me that my mother was now on the at risk register from me. I was absolutely shattered by this, I have no idea how or why, and neither did he, and he told me he had ordered them to revoke it, as it was totally unfounded, and ridiculous. However, the stigma remained, they still do not talk to me, and I have no idea why. Unfortunately, my mother has developed the habit of saying untrue things about me to others, I found out when one of them told me, also saying she knew it was not true, and she understood why I was moving. All very unpleasant, and very depressing. I have always been a friendly helpful person, but I seem to attract bad things. The real start going downhill started last year. I moved to the town I now live in six years ago, and knew no-one. I have an interest in indoor gardening, and I got to know the owner of a local business that specialised in this. One morning i went down for a chat and to buy some bits and bobs,but the shop had been burgled during the nigh, and there was no stock to sell. I had just received my annual bonus (approx £18,000), so I said I would lend him the money to re-stock to keep him in business until the insurance mney came through. I was not interested in making a load of interest, I asked him what rate he thought fair, he said 8%, and I agreed (more fool me, but I was trying to help not make money). I also did some accounting work for him for no fee as I was not satisfied with the work his current accountant was providing. I spent two weeks sorting out his records, and realised his tax had been incorrectly calculated, stating he owed over £1,300 in VAT, when in fact he was due a refund. I submitted s new claim, and he received the refund, the previous demand was withdrawn. I did all this for nothing to help. Well, you can probably guess the rest. Last May he disappeared without trace, taking my money with him. Now, I could take the financial loss, although it was painful, it was the way he repaid kindness by stealing that got me. I self harmed on 27th December, it is easy to remember, the day before my birthday. I felt better for a few days, but then the darkness came back. I knew I was in trouble so I contacted NHS Mental Health. They were actually worse than useless, they made me worse. The kept on and on asking the same questions over a period of three months, at no time did I receive any advice at all, nothing, just questions questions. They knew I had cut myself once, and was likey to repeat, but they did nothing. Eventually I phoned and told them to stay out of my life, they made things worse, and since then I have heard nothing at all from them (thankfully, but rather worrying). I was made redundant in March, having been with the company for 14 years. I have applied for over 40 positions, and had just one reply, a rejection. apart from that nothing. My company paid for outplacement services, but the agency we chose was hopeless, after four weeks they had made comments on the grammar of my CV, and nothing else, all for £5,200. I complained and they offered a refund which I accepted. I found a second agency, spoke to them at length, and we agreed on a program. this morning out of the blue they called to say they could not accept e as a client, their consultants were fully committed, something I have never heard of. So I was now even rejected as a paying client. All around me I see greed, selfishness and people who do ont even know the existence of the word empathy, let alone what it means. All I want to do is go to sleep and never wake up. I am on my own, I have no desire to meet people, the last time I tried that I was robbed when I helped out. There is only one thing stopping me, my two cats, who I adore, and I worry what would happen to them. Then tonight I started looking into having them re-housed somewhere they would be happy, leaving me free to <Mod Edit, WildCherry: Methods>. Sorry my post is so long, but I wanted to explain that my state is not down to a bit of bad luck recently, it is the culmination of a string of crap, and I do not think I can take any more. I just want to go to sleep for ever, and leave this horrid world to the rotten people that infest it.