Hello

[Itslate]

Can't sleep. This place popped up whilst making a search on the University of Google for the final solution...

Everything seems worse at night doesnt it. And yet. You read other peoples problems and wonder why do I feel so shit about my own ridiculous problems that got overblown in my head when some of these guys have real problems.

Seems a nice place. Thanks for popping up in my search. At least I have somewhere to ramble inanely now!! Not got my glasses on either so probably not even coherent..

So much better than the doom and gloom of an online newspaper to cheer you up at 3.00 in the morning.

 

[Petal]

Hi there and welcome to the forum @Itslate I a glad you found us here and that google brought you here. It is nice to meet you, a pleasure
Don't belittle your own problems, everyone has their fair share of troubles to deal with. You deserve help and support just as much as the next person does.
Well done for taking the step on joining, that's a major achievement

 

[Itslate]

Thank you. Thats kind of you.

And having read something of yours from another section. You do to x

 

[Itslate]

Deserve I mean

 

[Petal]

Thank you, I appreciate that, you will like it here, it is like one big supportive family

 

[Itslate]

Natives seem friendly yes

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

Welcome to the forum! What was your issues in the first place that brought you here. This place does make us look at ourselves again and give us hope that things will get better

 

[Itslate]

Funny isn't it. You start making a reply to a question like that and as you write it down in black and white and you read it over and think, what on earth are you feeling so hard done by. You really are just being silly. You have so much in life to be happy about and grateful for, just get a grip, get over it and move on!

 

[Itslate]

I think the short version would be. The helper after two or three years of misery, secondary ptsd, burn out and physical and emotional exhaustion needed some help and a little tlc from those she thought were her friends. Friends of 40 years or more. Intelligent and what I had always believed to be good and kind people. Turned on the person I was caring for who has become a member of our family and effective daughter after a lifetime of trauma who in turn reacted by 'self medicating' as a response to their bullying behaviour and herd mentality to eliminate herself from this world and no longer be a trouble to me. We have her back now but my adrenaline has stopped pumping and not coping well with the reality of the unpleasantness of those i thought were friends now life has calmed a little. I feel worthless and valueless and pointless. Question my own judgement of others. No longer trust any one and have an unreasonable high level of hurt to be shat on from a great height by those i thought cared about me and mine. . I have much, need to get sleep, stop hurting and focus on that which is good. Just having a self indulgent night of walliwing and self pity.

 

[Innocent Forever]

I like that comment - university of google.
Sending lotsa hugs. You can always write/ramble on here.

 

[DrownedFishOnFire]

It is scary and a rude awakening when we hit a rough patch and people simply are not there for us when we need it the most.

I hope your daughters self medicating issue is being addressed.

Take care

 

[JmpMster]

Glad you found us regardless of the reasons. The whole thing about depression is that we are overwhelmed - so the issues become giant and unsolvable. Lots of times talking about it we find ourselves trying to defend that they really are unsolvable because we thought so long they were and then after discussing and looking at them differently is hard to believe there is a path out of the darkness right there. Talking about things might get some advice, but just as often it just allows us to see them a little more clearly. Depression cannot magnify a few sentences as well as it can our thoughts in the dark.

 

[JohnyH]

Hi and welcome I think everybody here understands what you mean by everything is worse at night. A big reason is because most of us spend our times in the evening alone, especially when we are suffering with depression or any kind of issues that affect our lives. When we are alone we tend to overthink things a lot more as we are thriving off of our own company/thoughts to some aspect, and of course when we are at rock bottom we only have negativity that surrounds us, and it's very hard to break that cycle, sometime it feels impossible.

It doesn't matter what the magnitude of our problems are, we are all different and regardless on if others seemingly have more difficult scenarios in life to us, it's never easy to deal with so do not feel ashamed or dwell on guilt.

 

[Itslate]

It is scary and a rude awakening when we hit a rough patch and people simply are not there for us when we need it the most.

I hope your daughters self medicating issue is being addressed.

Take care

Thank you for asking about her. It has been addressed and after 12 months trying to stop a very major problem she has finally achieved her Plan B and has stopped. (Never say never), but shes done it and I cant share how proud that makes me. It was a long hard won battle of successes and failures

 

[Itslate]

Glad you found us regardless of the reasons. The whole thing about depression is that we are overwhelmed - so the issues become giant and unsolvable. Lots of times talking about it we find ourselves trying to defend that they really are unsolvable because we thought so long they were and then after discussing and looking at them differently is hard to believe there is a path out of the darkness right there. Talking about things might get some advice, but just as often it just allows us to see them a little more clearly. Depression cannot magnify a few sentences as well as it can our thoughts in the dark.

Yes

 

[Itslate]

Hi and welcome I think everybody here understands what you mean by everything is worse at night. A big reason is because most of us spend our times in the evening alone, especially when we are suffering with depression or any kind of issues that affect our lives. When we are alone we tend to overthink things a lot more as we are thriving off of our own company/thoughts to some aspect, and of course when we are at rock bottom we only have negativity that surrounds us, and it's very hard to break that cycle, sometime it feels impossible.

It doesn't matter what the magnitude of our problems are, we are all different and regardless on if others seemingly have more difficult scenarios in life to us, it's never easy to deal with so do not feel ashamed or dwell on guilt.

Thank you. And yes. And its the irritating waking up at half past two in the morning when you thought you had made it asleep, then the incoherent fumbling with sentences the next day when nothing works after a shed load of sleepless nights

 

[MistySilver]

Hello Itslate,

Woohoo for the breakthrough your daughter has overcome. That's wonderful.

PTSD seems to combine elements of many disorders. Disturbed sleep amongst them. I read an old wives tale about placing a peeled crushed garlic clove under the pillow. Weird hey? But I'm desperate and figure it cannot hurt …

Really sad about long time friends misconstruing your family situation. Hopefully you shall feel stronger very soon to find new truer friendship. Sometimes it takes a crisis to expose the depths. More an indictment upon them than you.

May 2017 be a fantastic year for you and your loved ones.

 

[Walker]

Hi there itslate. Sounds like you and your daughter are both going through a lot.
Nights are harder for people. Something about all that darkness and quiet - some of us thrive while others just want to curl up in a ball and wait for the sun to come up. Not sleeping will really seal the deal on the madness too! It'll just drive you wonky with the thinking and thinking while you know you should be asleep.
Keep coming back any time. There's always a bunch here to keep you company when you don't want to think any more. I'm glad that Google brought you to us. Everyone is equally valuable here. Take care.