Hello all, I've been reading posts for a little while now, I have SF bookmarked, I DO need help, there is just so much, I read this forum with hopes of an answer or a reason, I know what a lot of my depression is, I just cant address it, my love and hope help and hurt the situations around me, I use my daughter (11) and son (6) as my lifeline but with every day the urge to end my life grows stronger and stronger, yes I can imagine the impact on them it would have, but lately all I'm thinking about is myself. I say to myself "how would this effect the life's of those around me?" but then in the same question I answer with what does it matter to you? you wont be around to see it or let it bother you... I don't know where to start, my life is in pieces. I have been diagnosed suicidal, there is a part of me that wants to live, but then I see these stories about people that "SNAP" I don't know what causes it or what their frame of mind is when they do and I'm VERY afraid of reaching that point. so I say hello to you all and hope I can find a way out of this darkness.