Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Essie, Jun 15, 2007.

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  1. Essie

    Essie New Member

    Hello all,

    I am a wife to a wonderful husband and (barely) a mother to two beautiful children who all deserve better than what I have done and am doing to them.

    My life was blessed and so full of potential until I made a life-altering decision last year that would lead me down the road to severe depression, a terrifying episode of paranoid schizophrenia, and horrible lasting consequences, physical, emotional, and financial, that I'm not sure I'll ever be able to overcome.

    I'm desperately seeking a sign, a word, any inspiration, to bring me back to life, but the reality of my situation always brings me back to a paralysis just short of death.

    "Please be with us."

    It breaks my heart when my husband says that. He doesn't understand that I want nothing more than to be with them like I used to and that there are moments when I ache to laugh and smile as before, but that I don't for fear of giving false hope. I literally wish for death almost every waking moment because I don't want my famliy to be suicide survivors.

    Thank you for being here. Please pray for me to find my way back.
  2. Hi

    Welcome to the forum :hug:

    I do hope that SF helps you and that you find the support and friendship and hlp needed to help you bring your life back. I am always about if you ever need anyone to chat to :hug:

  3. ari

    ari Staff Alumni

    Welcome to the site Essie. I am sorry that you are going through such a difficult time. I hope being here at the site gives you some support and outlets. Take care and be safe. ari
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF Essie. I am sorry to hear how things changed for you. I am glad you found us and are willing to fight to live and for things to get better. That is the first step. We are here to support you and help you to get through this in any way we can. If you need someone to listen or a shoulder to cry on, feel free to PM me. I will get back to you as son as I can. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
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