Discussion in 'Welcome' started by jefca, Jun 29, 2008.

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  1. jefca

    jefca Antiquities Friend

    Not sure if I should be here or not. All I know is I'm tired and I've had enough and the people I want to care don't.
  2. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    :welcome: to the forum here. we are very glad to see you here. please feel free to continue to share if it helps you feel better. we will do all we can to support ya. i'm sorry to hear that you feel people in your life don't care. it's a hard place to be in i know. i've been there, but i hung with it and things have changed. there are not a whole lot of people who care, but there are a good handful at least now so that's good. i believe if you tough it out those things can change for you too. please take care and we'll see ya around
  3. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Everyone is welcome here.
    Looking forward to reading some of your posts.

  4. jefca

    jefca Antiquities Friend

    Nothing seems to have had any point. From the age of 15 I've been tormented, tormented myself, never been true and honest for fear of god knows what. I can't do it anymore. The torment won't end, I can't end it I'm not strong enough. I just want peace and an empty mind. I have no energy left to breathe or think or sleep or move. I just want to not be. I'm 39. I can't do another 40 or 50 years of this.
  5. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    you've made it this long, and in my opinion this proves you are strong enough whether you would like to accept it or not.

    i've been fightin' the good fight for literally as long as i can remember and that is back to five. (my first suicide attempt was at 6) i'm 38 now, and most of those years were anything but peaceful for me also, but just over the last year things have began to get better. i'm not saying my whole life has totally turned around, but i must say it has become more tolerable. what's helped? talking things out with my therapist(only). taking some classes on how to tolerate things a bit better, and my ect's. it's taken time. i'm afraid that's what it's going to take. do you have therapist you speak with? or a doc you see?
  6. butterflies32

    butterflies32 Well-Known Member


    Welcome to the forum. I am sorry you have found us feel how you do and I hope we can help you.

    PM me if you want to chat.

  7. jefca

    jefca Antiquities Friend

    I've just started with a therapist. I've tried before five years ago but bottled out after the first two sessions. My husband pushed me to go to the doctor again about a month ago and as a result I had first session last week. but noone really sees how bad it is. i can't tell them. i'm embarrassed.
    I have my next one this Wednesday.
    I've got huge guilt as spent an hour spilling some beans about my mother and now feel guilty that a complete stranger knows intimate stuff about her and me.
    I want a million people to line up and tell me counselling/therapy works. Because I can't do it for nothing. I need a miracle to get this all out of my head and find me. I dont know who i am. I'm just a broken nothing who is so good at acting everyone thinks i'm made of stone. they think they can't hurt me or break me cos i don't react.
  8. Insignificant

    Insignificant Account Closed

    i believe that it must come out somewhere the question is where. it might as well be a therapist cause they can't tell a soul anything of what you share with them. unless of course you plan on harming yourself then they must talk. you know what too very very very rarely did they ever bring anything back up again too. i find that personally awesome. therapy does help bunches.
  9. jefca

    jefca Antiquities Friend

    No harming involved, ever. I have trouble keeping it in - don't want to let it all out as well. I do want to just end though. i can't say that out loud though. writing it here doesn't feel 'out loud'.
  10. Lou

    Lou Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF

    There's always someone around on here to chat with.

  11. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Welcome... I'm glad you joined. If you ever need to talk feel free to contact me, or if you have a problem or want a discussion or to vent, feel free to use the forum. :smile: :hug:
  12. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to the forum. i am glad you are able to share things with us. I hope you are able to find the support you need. :hug:
  13. liveinhope

    liveinhope Well-Known Member

    Hi and a warm welcome to the forum
  14. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum :arms:
  15. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    hi and welcome to sf x
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