Just saying hello. I've had this place bookmarked for a long time and feel as though I need to participate. I've wanted to die for over six years now. I've been hospitalized; I am a cutter. I am sick to the point of disability, can't work, can barely get dressed, the pain and fatigue have taken me down. Although I fantasize every day about suicide, I have a family that I cannot seem to let down, so I grudgingly live day to day, praying for God to take me. I want to die so badly I can't even look at the future. My family would be better off without me, but try telling them that. They don't realize that it is selfish of them not to say, "Look, you've felt this way for six years...you must be in total misery. Go with God." Sorry for the whining, but I can't burden friends and family any more, and I have to vent. Thanks for reading.