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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by bourne, Sep 20, 2008.

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  1. bourne

    bourne Member

    Hi everyone,
    Not really sure what all to say here, so I'll just give some basic information about my situation.

    I'm 25 years old, and I currently live in Canada. I've had suicidal thoughts from time to time since I was 14 years old, but in recent years they've grown worse. It's been on my mind almost daily since back in Winter '07, and I'm finding myself thinking of it more often recently.

    I've never done self-harming, and I've never attempted suicide. I've always hid how I'm really feeling. While I've had the suicidal thoughts for nearly 1/3 of my life, I've never believed that I would ever do it. But as I get older and nothing changes, that belief is faltering. I'm at the point where I'm saying if something happened where I needed treatment or a surgery to fix or I'd die, I wouldn't seek the help (I have a couple heart issues that could lead there). Numerous times I've hoped that something like that would happen, so the decision is made for me.

    Actual suicide doesn't seem too far from that kind of thinking, so I'm trying another form of help to see if it can assist in changing things around for me.

    Thanks for reading,
  2. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    :welcome: to the forum
  3. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    Hey and welcome to the forum :smile:
    I hope talking about your feelings and sharing experiences with people who feel the same way helps you. Have you ever tried counselling? Lots of people find talking about their feelings with a counsellor who can challenge your beliefs is helpful.
    Take care :hug:
  4. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    :welcome: to SF. We will offer as much support as we can to help you through those feelings. Take care and stay safe. :hug:
  5. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    Welcome to sf.
    Hope you find the support you need and deserve here.
  6. BioHomocide

    BioHomocide Well-Known Member

    Hello and welcome.
  7. bourne

    bourne Member

    Yep, I was in counseling for several years. Tried a number of them out (each taking a different approach) but I didn't find it helped, unfortunately.

    I've been put on anti-depressants, which did not work (and in one case turned me literally psychotic). I don't want to get back on them because I didn't ever feel any better taking them. The side-effects generally hit me pretty hard too.

    Tried books, the exercise/healthy eating route, attempting to force myself to push through it... none of it has worked yet.
  8. Melancholy

    Melancholy Well-Known Member

    There's always something new to try. Don't give up :smile: We're always here to support each other, don't forget that. Take care
  9. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum
  11. SAVE_ME

    SAVE_ME Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF, bourne. If you ever need to chat or vent or w/e then feel free to PM me. My inbox is always open.
  12. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Hi bourne

    Welcome to SF! :smile:
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