Hello, In 2000, my father committed suicide... I never saw it coming, I was 20 at the time. It's almost 10 years now and it's still affecting me a lot. Loosing him was like loosing a part of myself that I will never be able to find. Since that day, I have change so much. I can't appreciate life anymore. I have been thinking of suicide for a while(years). As I am getting older, I feel less and less useful on this planet. In a way, I don't want to die...but I feel it's the only way to get the pain out of my body and my head...I feel alone. I wish that I can found some people who feels like me.