Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by lisastrand, May 14, 2009.

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  1. lisastrand

    lisastrand Account Closed

    Hi, I'm a 29 year old girl and I'm married and just bought a house. I have a good job with a comfie salary and have achieved my career goals. I don't have that many friends but most people get along with me and don't have a problem with me.

    However, I'm extremely, extremely depressed. I am in a hole so big I don't know how to get out. Every single day is a struggle and I am losing my personality to this disease. I am on prozac which was working fine, but now I am going back into suicidal mode again.

    For the past month, I haven't eaten very much and have really just planned out my death. I have read about death, near-death experiences, others deaths, suicides, terminal illnesses etc, just to get more comfortable with the idea of death. I have have fleeting thoughts of suicide in my life before but never a month long binge of thoughts. NEVER this much.

    I think this is near the end of my lifespan. I just have to figure out how to end it. I am so miserable that every single day is a struggle and I can't make it better. I'm terrified of death and I don't want to hurt others around me but I also don't want them to suffer with me for years of depression.
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    :hug: Lisa, welcome to the forum.

    I hope this site helps x
  3. poisonedresistance

    poisonedresistance Well-Known Member


    i hope you find some peace,, if not youve found some good listeners!!
  4. Janus

    Janus Member

    Me too
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    welcome to the forum

    Do you have any idea what caused your depression? :hug:
  6. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Welcome to SF. You are in the right place!
  7. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF. Your pain is felt by many here. The daily grind gets to all of us. Talk to your doctor and let him know the prozac isn't working. Maybe you need another anti-anxiety med. I finally found a pretty good combo. along with therapy.

    Feel free to private message me if you want to. Please stick around and check out this forum. You'll find many intelligent, caring people here who share your pain. You are not alone!!!
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