Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by grinded serenity, May 30, 2009.

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  1. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    hey guys and gals. new to this site, been browsin for about maybe an hour. glad to find some place like this, everybody here seems to be really helpful. after reading the sticky thread on what to do instead of cutting, i succesfully (atleast for now) faught off the urge to cut myself again, even though it hasnt been 2 hours since i last did.

    ya see, i was gunna write out a very long story for you folks, but eh, doesnt seem worth it anymore

    well anyways, yeah, i cut myself, i love the sight of blood and the pain it gives me, and it gets my mind off of well... my mind. god damnit, i end up typing out long ass stories. excuse my french.

    yeah, im grinded serenity and i cut myself atleast twice a day "HI SERENITY!"
  2. Samsara

    Samsara Well-Known Member

    That is a lot of cutting...give us some details as to why you do it? I mean is there something prompts it? How do you feel when you do it? Also you should view the forum for self harm, there's a lot of insight here :) Say healthy, bruddah.
  3. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    Samsara... that name sounds familiar. are oyu on any other forums? socialanxiety.com perhaps?

    and its me that gets me going. i either wake up pissed off or depressed. ill give u as much as im comforatable with.

    ill try to make it as confusing as possible. sike.

    i hate myself, who i am, who ive become, my body, my mind, what i do and how i act, i HATE myself with a passion. every day in and out, im inside all day. i dont go out, i dont have friends, the only friend i had has stopped talking to me and its completely my fault. im a coward, a liar, a cheater, a fuck up in life, ugly, the list goes on.

    how do i feel? good. i love the sight of my blood, i love the pain i get. it gets my mind off of things ive done in the past.

    already took a look around, and there are a good couple threads in here that do help. except typing this is becoming a "trigger"

    hello exacto knife :)
  4. Gobou

    Gobou Member

    If you don't like you... Why don't you change in a person that you like ? Self-injury IS a good solution BUT in a very short time. You can't take it for a solution at all for every thing. Will come a moment when it will no longer gives you serenity...
    How old are you ? School ? Work ? What do you want to do in the futur ?
    Do you love something ? A sport ?
    It's important to try to get something else than self-injuries to calm you down.
    I think that when we try to cutting ourselves to handle something bad, we will always think of it as a solution...
  5. grinded serenity

    grinded serenity Well-Known Member

    tried to change myself, cant happen.

    i love to box and train for it, but as of this morning i cant do it anymore.

    im 18 but a junior in high school, well... sort of. i just finished up the year with semi decent grades so ill be moving to senior year.

    trust me... i had plent yof vents at one point. drums, drawing, boxing, punching bags, punching walls, but its all gone now and got replaced with cutting. it really isnt that bad for me, ive been able to control it unless i get REALLY mad at myself, which happens maybe once a week.

    edit: i have really no goal for myself, nothin i want to do in the future because i know im eventually going to end it this next year. ive been really close to it several times this year, and next is just going to be more work, more pressure, and still no friends and no best friend, who vie had for 3 years.
    Last edited by a moderator: May 30, 2009
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