Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Jack Foucault, Aug 15, 2009.

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  1. Jack Foucault

    Jack Foucault New Member

    So this world doesn't care about me.

    Or anything, really.

    It's not clear that the human race is intelligent enough to survive.

    Nor that I'll ever be able to forgive myself for hurting and losing Tracy. All I've got left of my love for her is the part that's withered into hate and this paralyzing depression that won't let me even try to believe that I'm worth anything without her.

    Uhm so hello. I really hate my life and in secret I've been planning suicide for a rather long time now. I don't WANT to be happy without her. I feel like it's a sin to be happy, especially when I hurt her so badly. I don't know why I have to be so unhappy, but I know that I have to, and being such is depressing and just makes me want to die.

    Like the Young Werther, I wish I could just grow the balls necessary to write a simple note missing her and then shoot myself.
  2. necrodude

    necrodude Well-Known Member

    hey jack. um i wouldnt advise shooting yourself, but writing a note is a good idea as long as she never reads it. depending on what happened, it might have legal issues.
  3. Jemi200

    Jemi200 Well-Known Member

    Write about your feelings that could be your number one way of coping with it then it could escalate to visiting professionals to help you then going to the mall and joking with people who sit next to you in the food court.

    Sounds hard but will be so simple when you do them :)
  4. elvinchild

    elvinchild Well-Known Member

    Hey Jack...
    I too am in a lot of pain because of the enormous guilt I feel for having hurt other people. I'm in the process of working through it in therapy and learning to forgive myself. Its incredibly difficult and some days are better than others, but I think I have made some progress.

    I don't know the specifics of your situation, but I think therapy would be helpful if you aren't already going. I also recommend talking to your doctor about your feelings.

    Apart from that, its important that you begin steps to move on from Tracy. Its time to go out and meet new people and experience life, even if you don't find yourself enjoying it at first. The important thing is getting yourself out and about.
  5. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    Tell us about this Tracy girl. Whats the situation? Unrequited Love? I know how it feels to be in love with a girl unrequitedly and then realize ive been just living in the past for so long. It's a horrible feeling but you have to be strong.
  6. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    Welcome to SF.

    I'm sorry you are hurting like this. I also read "The Sorrows of Werther" (unsure of exact title right now) but it made me want to live. Of course other circumstances have come up that brought me to this site.

    This site saved me. I hope you can find some solace here. Also, if you haven't already, I would stay away from the works of Kafka and Camus as well. I read all of it, and while their work along with much of Goethe is interesting, it has the cummulative effect of making one extremely depressed.
  7. versin

    versin Member

    Nothing is permanent.
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