Discussion in 'Welcome' started by silverlotus, Oct 19, 2009.

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  1. silverlotus

    silverlotus Member

    Hi, I'm 25 and have been on all sorts of meds since I was 15. So, ten years now, I've been in and out of hospitals. Attempted suicide 4 times, the rest were self injury incidents that got out of control. I don't know why I am here...or at least what I'm supposed to say.

    I guess right now, I just feel hopeless and suicide has crept it's way back into my head. I've been thinking about it for a couple of weeks now. I've been planning. I have a date set. I guess I'm here because a part of me doesn't want to follow through...? I'm scared. I haven't told anyone because thier solution to everything is the hospital because no one knows how to deal with suicidal person, I mean, even I don't.

    I'm not sure what I'm looking for...

    Thanks for reading all of that if you made it through.
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome to SF. You've come to the right place. It helps a lot to read the posts here and it helps to post too.

    I have found that when it gets bad for me that going to the hospital is a good option. Do you have a therapist you see regularly or is there a depression support group in your area?

  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi silver, welcome to the forum :) I'm glad you found us!
  4. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Welcome to the forums SilverLotus...You have come to the right place for support.. We have all been down that road.. I was suicidal when I came here and this place and the members have saved my life twice since being here..Please stay with us and talk when your ready.. In the mean time read what the others are posting..Take care!!
  5. silverlotus

    silverlotus Member

    Thank you everyone.

    Chargette- I see a counselor and haven't mentioned anything about this for a couple reasons. I've only met with her twice so far so I'm not sure I feel comfortable yet telling her. Also, I know she'll have to call the crisis team and I'll be put in the hospital. I really don't want to go to the hospital. I just dont want to be here anymore.
  6. bubblin girl

    bubblin girl Well-Known Member

    welcome to SF
  7. Nosferatu

    Nosferatu Well-Known Member

    Hi silverlotus. I hope that we can offer some support to you here.

    Perhaps if your feeling uncomfortable with your counsellor you could try and arrange more meetings with her to help establish a base for you to move from, which will be better for you and it will certainly help her help you the more she can understand your situation.
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    hey glad you reached out here for some support.
  9. Xenos

    Xenos Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF. I'm sorry with all the hard times you've been through. Hope you'll find what you need here.. :D
  10. silverlotus

    silverlotus Member

    Wow, thank you all for the support.

    Nosferatu-I'm seeing her once a week right now, she's only in the office one day out of the week. She knows I'm in a bad place but doesn't know anything about the suicidal thoughts. I'm not sure what I'm going to do quite yet.
  11. nagisa

    nagisa Staff Alumni

    Welcome to sf. If you need a friend, i'm here to chat with whenever. :hug: :)
  12. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forums.
  13. silverlotus

    silverlotus Member

    Thanks, I'm still trying to get used to the site. There's so much to read!
  14. sucidalgirl99

    sucidalgirl99 Well-Known Member

    Welcome my dear!
  15. Pilko

    Pilko Active Member

    Welcome o SF..I am sure you will get support here.
  16. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am glad you are seeking support in various ways for your thoughts and feelings. You do need to be honest with your therapist in order for them to help you to the best of their abilities. I know you are still in the trust building stage, but please do not let things get out of hand. Keep posting and talking to us here as much as you need. we will support you as much as we are able. :hug:
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