not really sure what to say - i'm not very good at this. but i thought i should just begin and see where it goes... hello. im 18, and have had depression for...dunno really...a long time. it was officially diagnosed about two and a half years ago. was put on all sorts of pills which didn't work and messed with my blood pressure. about six months ago i refused to take anymore. too much effort. i've been refusing help on a regular basis since. but now i'm too tired to refuse anymore - don't want to take anything but don't have the strength to fight. my mum's sorting out getting me more pills... urgh. still won't see anyone though. i'm keeping up that fight. i have pretty severe insomnia. didn't sleep well when i was young and it's just escalated over the years. i keep up a pretty good facade but it's cracking and if it slips then it's all over. it's like everything's collapsing around me and all i can do is watch. anyone know what i mean? scares me. i've read posts. i like it here. i suppose it's nice to not be alone. maybe i can help someone.