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Discussion in 'Welcome' started by 8125, Apr 16, 2010.

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  1. 8125

    8125 Well-Known Member

    not really sure what to say - i'm not very good at this. but i thought i should just begin and see where it goes... hello.

    im 18, and have had depression for...dunno really...a long time. it was officially diagnosed about two and a half years ago. was put on all sorts of pills which didn't work and messed with my blood pressure. about six months ago i refused to take anymore. too much effort. i've been refusing help on a regular basis since. but now i'm too tired to refuse anymore - don't want to take anything but don't have the strength to fight. my mum's sorting out getting me more pills... urgh. still won't see anyone though. i'm keeping up that fight.
    i have pretty severe insomnia. didn't sleep well when i was young and it's just escalated over the years.
    i keep up a pretty good facade but it's cracking and if it slips then it's all over.
    it's like everything's collapsing around me and all i can do is watch. anyone know what i mean? scares me.

    i've read posts. i like it here. i suppose it's nice to not be alone. maybe i can help someone.
  2. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    Hi and welcome...glad you found us...I hope you find the forum helps..
    I'm glad your Mums getting some meds for you....I hope you'll keep trying till you find one that agrees with you....there are heaps of different ones around now..you don't have to put up with that pain..
    your doctor also needs to know you're not sleeping....he can help with that to...
    I understand that feeling of the world collapsing around you..it's scary....hold on..
    have you thought about some counceling?..
  3. 8125

    8125 Well-Known Member

    hi IV2010, thanks for replying :)

    i know somewhere deep down that it's probably better to try medication than go on with what is essentially a losing battle without it, but it's difficult to see it helping in any way. it just seems like so much effort for so little gain. ran out of steam with it, you know?
    i've had a range of SSRIs and MAOIs. SSRIs did nothing - the doctor agreed - and MAOIs at best took a (very slight) edge off but lowered my blood sugar to the point where if i'd been sitting down for more than 10 minutes and stood up, i pretty much blacked out or fell over. made keeping my problems a secret at school difficult!

    for the sleep problems i first went to a cognitive behavioural therapist who was, well, more than useless. pills have helped somewhat but i find that the effect they have wears off after you've been taking them for a while or they don't work well. it's been difficult for doctors to prescribe strong sleeping pills because of my age (i was only 18 last week)

    i really struggle to talk about my problems so i've always refused counseling.
    i suppose that's why i joined here - it's a lot easier to talk when people can't see you! which might explain the ridiculously long post, well done and thank you if you bothered to read all that!
  4. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I did read it ....I hope you can get the right mix of meds that'll help this time...
    maybe you would find you could talk to a councelor because they are basically a stranger?
    you don't need to see them except at appointments...not facing them every day like family and friends...
    therapy and meds have kept me alive..
  5. 8125

    8125 Well-Known Member

    maybe, it would take a BIG change of heart though. we'll see what happens. i try not to think about the future too much.
    thanks again for replying - means a lot. from reading a few posts it looks like you're a great help to a lot of people :)
  6. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    one day at a time is all we can do sometimes..
    take care.
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