Hello, I'm new to this site, and am hoping it can help in some way. I'm 24 years old, and have suffered with depression for as long as I can remember, and have self-harmed and had suicidal feelings since I was 12 years old. Recently this has reached a crisis point, and I now actually have the means to kill myself. The only reason I'm still here is because I have yet to work out the last few kinks in my plan, and I have promised my friend that I will finish my first year of university, which means I have to stick around until June. I have been in counselling for seven months, but it's not helping, and I was recently stupid enough to tell him that I'm suicidal, which now means I have to keep going or he'll break confidentiality, as he will assume the worst if I don't turn up. I literally have nothing to live for, no point to my existence. I don't want to die but I can see no alternative, because I simply cannot carry on like this and I have no intention of doing so. However, in the meantime, I have no-one to talk to, as no-one understands (except my one friend, but she doesn't want to talk about it, which I can understand I guess). So I suppose I'm just hoping for a little understanding from people who actually know how I'm feeling, and it would be nice to think I may be able to support people while I'm here. Mim.