i've been struggling with bipolar disorder for 7 years now. i'm on new meds even now, so you can see how well it's all worked out for me. it's difficult because most people i talk to tell me that it's "all in my head" and that i can overcome this if only i decide "not to feel depressed." i only wish they knew. sometimes, i wish i had a physical disability instead, that way they could SEE that something was wrong. i would never wish this on my worst enemy, but it hurts when no one understands that you are sick. i found this forum on accident. i was fantasizing about suicide again and simply wondered if anyone else out there was talking about it. having read many of the posts, i realize now that i'm not the only one and there are people in the world who can understand where i'm coming from. all at once, i didn't feel so alone. i hope that i can be supportive to others. i still go through really rough patches, but when i do feel good, i know that being there for others is so important. i'd like to say thank you to others for sharing. i know there's somewhere i can go now where people know what it's like to feel this way.