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I'm not too sure what this message shoudl go under so ill call it depression i just wanna see if theres anyone who can tell me something i might be missing. It's hard to judge know where someone is coming from so im gonna give you some backstory it may be a little much but if it helps...

I just turned 19 a couple weeks ago. i live with my dad in a house he rents and he hates it here.

I was moved to michigan from massachsetes i think in 1999 at the end of 7th grade because my grandmother couldn't take care of me anymore (this was a couple years after my grandfather died). I was told it was only gonna be a summer thing but it was a lie. i was kinda oblivious to everything then and very spoiled, but that changed drasticly after i moved.

It hit me when i got here when i got a letter in my "new room" that said Welcome home love, your new family or some crap like that on it... Well those years i first experienced depression and during that time , my step mom and left my dad and my younger step brother had moved out. and im shy, so i stayed in my room mostly i couldnt really trust anyone , my dad and step mom stayed in their room mostly and were probably too immature to be parents. i feal mostley that iv parented myself. I didn't feal any emotional attachment to my step mom or step brother and when they left, my dad didnt get why. but it was caus i really didnt know them most my life. i didnt even really know him.

so i was in and out of depression for a couple years...then i started makign more friends and getting into drama and went thru some mild stuff... it was bad but it wasnt it was getting better...but then i started losing friends... and that was tuff on me since its hard for me to make friends. then 3 years ago halfway thru junior year after being sick for a month i had almost like a nervous breakdown...i started skipping school and staying home...no one caught on for 2 weeks and it led to my eventual dropping out.

Then i got into my first serious relationship. for 3 years. with some big problems some little ones and some short times apart. lets jsut say other people had to much of a say in our relationship. She left me a couple weeks ago again something about not having a job and not having my ged yet wich she never worried about before..but it sounds a lot like her mom but whatever. anything i'd ever want in someone she was it. I just can't substitute what we had for anyone or anything else.

I cant afford counseling anymore and i think medication is just avoiding the problem so i stopped taking it...

I can't go to my friends. a lot of them dont bother me with as it is. but for some reason when i show weekness...they ignore me and when i push it down and try to seem happy...they think everything is okay and think im content and ignore me.

i dunno if any of that made sence :sad: and there are a lot of detials i left out. if anyone has any thoughts or wisdom please share im very stubborn with ideas on how to deal. but i'll definently listen! :smile:
Hey, sorry I didnn't see your post sooner, I was helping my neighbor.

I just wanted to tell you I am glad you found a truely supportive site such as this, and I am sure everyone will try and help you the best they can as we are all in tough situations too.





I am sorry that I didn't see this post earlier as well. First let me welcome you to SF. People are very supportive here. Just because you did not receive replies immediately doesn't mean that we don't care. I am sorry events took the turn the way they did for you. What you are going through is not easy by any means. I don't understand your friends reactions. Do they ignore you all the time? You said when things were bad they did, when they were good they did. I don't think meds are a way of running from the problem. If they helped you, maybe you should consider going back on them. I am not sure what kind of services they have around you, but sometimes there are counseling services at reduced rates or free to those if you qualify because of low income. Maybe check it out. I hope things get better for you soon. We are here to help support you the best we can. Again I apologize for not replying sooner. :hug:
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