Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Goldy, Jan 21, 2011.

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  1. Goldy

    Goldy New Member


    All I seem to want in my life is to be able to have a girlfriend, Just to be close to someone is all i ever wanted. Im technically not a virgin but still am to myself Im 28 and spent the last 10 years hiding from the world. The reason I can't do the things I want is because of the state my body is in. My arms stomach and rear have horrible scarring and my penis is in a really awful looking state after what happened to me when i was younger. Ive never talked to anyone about this so here is my only chance to get it off my chest. I feel so low when i should be having the best years. Does anyone think a woman would ever be comfortable with someone like me?
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 21, 2011
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome...anyone who truly loves you will find you wonderful just the way you are...especially if you feel that way about yourself...I think that is the first way to be accepted by others...and I am sure you have many gifts to bring to a relationship...welcome again, and thank you for sharing...J
  3. Hello Goldy and Welcome to the forum.. :hugtackles:

    A girl who truly loves you will love you as a person and not love you just for your body.. Take care and do write back.. :hug::mortd:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Just want to say hi glad you are reaching out for help.
  5. flowingriver

    flowingriver Well-Known Member

    Yea, a woman accept you for yourself, if she really loves you.
  6. Ravenwing

    Ravenwing Well-Known Member

    Personally, I couldn't care less about the outside of a man's body. My ex husband had no outside scars and brutalised me for a long time. So appearances do not guarantee a good guy believe me. A decent woman will love you for what is in your head and in your heart, not what you look like. :hug: Be kind to yourself.
  7. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    just wanted to say welcome, i agree with the other posters. the right woman will not focus on your external appearance. she will accept you for who you are. love yourself, the rest will follow.
  8. Deleted SKU

    Deleted SKU Well-Known Member

    Hey Goldy.

    No idea what sort of stuff you've been through, but sounds tough. I know it sounds cliched, but any girl worth being in a relationship with wont care about that stuff. It's hard i'm guessing, because those thoughts are always there, and it must be difficult thinking about trying to get close to someone with that fear they will reject you. But dont let that fear stop you from trying to find that closeness with someone.

    Fear is like the worst partner you could ever find, forceful, seductive, trying to keep you in that corner away from anything in life which could make you happy. All fear does is take and take, never giving you anything. You owe it nothing, so don't let it stop you from trying to find someone. (sorry if that sounds a bit corny).
  9. Atompilz

    Atompilz Well-Known Member

    Don't worry about physical things, people who look perfect will only be that way for part of their lives until age takes its toll on them. Most decent girls don't care about looks, men are more into aesthetics, girls care more about honesty and fidelity. Personally I am very attracted to scars as though they are a life map for good and bad, they tell a story. I think some people look really plastic and too Ken Doll like, a scar makes people more unique as nobody can have the exact same scar. I like imperfections of any kind, a model type who has a wonky mouth, crooked teeth or bumpy nose is far more interesting to look at than a clone of everyone else. My ex had a big nose and had been through a windshield when he was a kid so his face and body was more scars than non scars. I could look at him forever and never got bored of his looks. I went out with a model after and although attractive at first it soon wore off and there was nothing new to discover, I soon got bored.

    Most people who are not confident about their looks have more to offer in personality anyway, it may be a cliche but it is true. Nomatter how you see youself you will be perfect in someone elses eyes.X
  10. Goldy

    Goldy New Member

    Thanks everyone for the nice words it was nice to read that. Ive never talked to anyone about it apart from the other kids I grew up with, but I had a lot of bad things done to me as a little boy. All I want in my life is someone who can accept me...I need to know how to be a man for a woman in every way, I juust dont know why Im so scared of everything? The other kids I grew up with got jobs and lives but I didn't and im not sure where to start. But thanks everyone its nice to know there are people who care
  11. GoldenPsych

    GoldenPsych Well-Known Member


    I'm sort of in the same position as you. I am covered in scars and I don't want to let anyone near me as means explaining it all etc. I have had a couple of one night stands where you don't care. I suppose in time once I am through this period I can look to move on. I may even be able to get plastic surgery. But I need to stip cutting first. I suppose the same will be for you also. In time you will meet someone. I suppose the person you meet wont care if they are the right person for you. How about lying about the scars. My lie is I fell on a glass coffee table.

  12. Goldy

    Goldy New Member

    Im not sure about the lying part coz I wouldn't know what to say...how would I explain the scars on my private areas? Maybe i was naked wen i fell? lol or a dog attacked me. I always imagined I would tell the truth about myself because it surely would come out when she would ask about my parents or something- i grew up in an orphanage.
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