I am a 57 year old man. I have experienced 'depression' for as long as I can remember. Alcohol and drugs, then alcohol and weed, now just weed modify my brain chemistry, to what end I don't know. The search for peace. To shut up that voice. Just being selfish, according to many. I have travelled the world, loved, had children, been kind, been an asshole. Apart from finding G-D, ticked all the boxes. But soon, it's time to go. I am worn out. I don't have the energy to do it any more, or a reason to prolong this succession of Groundhog Days. It won't be done in a desperate emotional despair. I'll even take my clothes to a charity shop and empty the garbage first. I think my children will understand, they grew up with Daddy being in bed for days at a time 'ill', I hope they will be happy that I don't have to do it all anymore. Or is that just my 'selfishness' being rationalised, so that I feel free enough to commit the ultimate 'selfish' act? I have sat and re read the above for half an hour. I can't see that it will be of any value to anyone but I will press submit anyway.