Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Sais, May 2, 2011.

  1. Sais

    Sais Well-Known Member

    Hello everyone, I'm new here, this is my first post, I found this forum searching for stuff about suicide, some painless methodes...
    I guess all I need is someone to read this, and actually understand, anything else can't be done for me, or at least I don't think so.
    Well, the short version:

    I have no friends, but most of them are not really worth the effort anyway, but i don't know how to make new ones. I actually feel that nobody even likes me.
    I am paralized by fear, fear of people, of making choices(when I do make them I can't follow..), of future, of judgement. Fear of what I am becoming.
    I cannot longer write! I used to write poetry and some prose, that helped me survive, without it, I just start crying in the street, like today. Then I'm happy again for a second, after that I come back to that state.
    I'm not capable of doing anything in this states, so I am really considering suicide. Oh, and the nervousness!!!
    I can't even balance myself for more than half a day.
    Sometimes I don't have the strenght to walk, othertimes it feels like I forgot how to do it.

    Ok... enough with the feeling sorry for myself for today...:later:
  2. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hi glad your here and are posting venting Have you talk to a professional about how you are feeling your doctor to start. Maybe get on meds to help decrease you anxiety around people There is always away to heal hun to get better Therapy help with your fears as well Keep posting okay that way we can get toknow you better Your not alone now and this place is a great place to make some friends hugs
  4. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Welcome to SF

    I hope that you find the comfort here that I have.
  5. FBD

    FBD Well-Known Member

    Hey, Im sorry you feel like this regularly. I know its been suggested, but are you seeing someone, doctor, therapist whatever. There are resources out there to help with the feelings, anxiety, and so on.

    I used to write some poetry too, but lost the ability a while ago...its tough. Maybe youll be able to get it back, or maybe its time to try a new method of expressing your emotions, like drawing or painting or something. who knows, it just might work, and if it might I think its worth a try. Sometimes we just need to try a new thing to help with how we feel. I think that a body can become immune to a distraction method, just like it can become immune to a medication...maybe trying a new thing for a while will help and then youll try to write again and you can.
  6. Decode

    Decode Well-Known Member

    Welcome to the forum Sais.