I had typed out a really long post explaining my situation, but I've decided to keep my post brief instead. I don't want to leave a wall of text for people to sift through. I'm stressed. That may, in fact, be putting it mildly. I feel a constant, extremely profound pressure. I ruminate over my problems endlessly, and I'm tired of it. The only time I've felt relaxed recently is when I daydream about suicide. I've taken to finding reliable ways in which I can obtain <mod edit - acy - methods>, and the proper methods for mixing a "suicide cocktail," which I suppose is a step in a direction away from merely daydreaming. I don't really have a question or a specific purpose for posting here. I suppose I'm just looking to have a conversation with people who feel they may identify with what I'm going through.