I am sorry I even had to join a site like this. Don't take this the wrong way - I am sure you all are wonderful people I never would otherwise have the chance to meet. It's just the reason I felt like I needed to join. Yes, I am suicidal. Yes, I have been so for the past 10+ years of my life. I am a 20-something transgendered male from somewhere in Europe. Now, being transgendered is a struggle in itself to me. God knows how many times I have wanted to kill myself over the years. It's the recent burden of coming out to my family that has driven me into this depression again - they're not accepting at all. I went through my fair share of therapy in my teens and came out "mentally healthy" after being diagnosed with severe depression and a panic disorder. Needless to say, neither of those never left me. I am currently stuck in a position where I can't seek any medical help for the depression I KNOW is there unless I want to risk my chances of transitioning (the main source of my depression is having to live as the wrong gender). Basically I will have to wait it out for them to give me the OK to transition before I can seek help for the depression I have; I'd like to think it will just disappear the second I get my "OK" for hormones, but I doubt it will. So for now I am stuck here, feeling suicidal and hoping to get some support from others who share similar, not experiences, as that would be pretty far fetched, but feelings, anyway.