Hello?

Can somebody here help me? I was too afraid that if I called a suicide hotline they'd like call the police on me or something. plz don't do that... i'm not going to do anyhing drastic now. but i feel myself spiraling down and idk what to do.

 

Hello Kat,

We're all here to help you, if you want to say what happened that caused you to feel like this?

Regarding the suicide hotline, they also want to help you and thats why they are there and will not call the police or anything.

 

Hi Kat glad you are reaching out here for help. Can you tell us a little more about w hat is happening what brought here keep talking okay that way we can give you the support you need hugs to you crisis line will only call if you say you are going tosuicide You can call them and j ust talk okay i have done that it helps

 

Okay I kind of feel stupid for posting on here. I'm sry... I just work myself up sometimes and I'm afraid of what I'll do. It may sound really stupid, but what upset me was a movie I watched where the people were like travelling around the world and stuff. I started thinking, yeah, THEIR lives are worth living. Mine is over before it even started.
I'm not good enough, I'll never amount to anything. I'll just live in my stupid town forever and hate my life and so what's the point?
I'm not smart enough. The things I'm good at are like english and history and things like that... studying people, but there's no future in that. And I'm too fat and ugly and stupid for anybody to ever even love. I've never really even had a serious boyfriend. I just feel like everything in my life is hopeless and I'll never be happy. I don't really think i'll kill myself... I'm too afraid I'd go to hell for it.
Idk. I think I'm depressed but I have no where to turn. I'm only 17 and it's not even an option to talk to my parents (really). I think usually I ignore it and keep myself busy and just try not to think about the 'big picture' of my life; But, sometimes I can't do it anymore and I kind of freak out. Like last night.
I wanted to call the suicide hotline. but I looked up where it would go to and I found out that if I called it I would be directed to a community counseling center near my house. My mom used to work there and I still KNOW people that work there. I also saw that whether or not they call the police is basically up to whomever answers the phone or the center's policies, and I just don't trust them. I almost drove to a pay phone in the middle of the night (actually the closest pay phone is within view of the counseling center haha). i kind of think, though, that I was talking myself out of calling.
anyway... sorry for going on. <3 Kat

 

O_O you live where there are still payphones? That is awesome, i have not seen a pay phone in forever.

>_< sorry my mind is random. Anyway, why do you feel you will be stuck in this town forever? Wanting to travel and explore is a natural human quality. You should find a way to embrace it.

I am pretty sure that you do not have to give your name to people on the hotline. They are there to help. You can always deny calling if you are confronted by someone.

 

Haha yeah there are pay phones, but idk if they actually work lol. I just don't see a way out of this town, I don't have the money, and idk what sort of job I could get to get me away from here.
The suicide hotline tracks where you are with caller id...