I sought out this site mainly to express my feelings. I am NOT here looking to be dissuaded from what I plan on doing. A "cry for help" could've been accomplished via Facebook or telephone. I'm ready to give it up, and until I obtain the necessary equipment to get it done quickly (while living in a state with pretty tight gun laws), the plan is to use an outlet like this site to kind of express my thoughts on where I'm at, and simply be heard. To everyone here, best wishes in your struggles.