Hi and welcome...for some, it takes a while to feel comfortable describing how one feels, but please remember, there are so many ppl that can relate to what you will write...and who will receive it with caring and support...welcome again, J
I remember a hokey song from a Christmastime animation show, and they do a little song and dance which is basically... Just put one foot in front of the other - and before you know it you'll get where you are going.
You don't need to sound like an expert - just start typing your feelings out, and as you get more and more down on the screen, you can start to see things taking shape - either on your own or with others adding their views.
Either way, this is a non-judgmental forum, most of us are or have been going through a lot of inner struggle.
Welcome, and I hope you feel comfortable enough to talk it out.