My name is Matt, I'm 37 and I'm from the midwest (US). What else to say in an introduction? I've felt suicidal for much of my life, and it's gotten worse again lately. Several years ago, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia and chronic major depression, but I believe I'm actually autistic. I quit my job today because I can't handle people. I'm hypersensitive to other people, especially loud, chatty people. The noise drove me right out the door today, and I know I can't go back. It's difficult for me to find work, due to a criminal record (misdemeanor theft from almost ten years ago). I've been thinking for years that I should just leave. I'm an alcoholic. I discovered that the only way I can talk to people is if I'm drunk. I've also self-medicated with recreational drugs on occasion. I've been on anti-depressants before (SSRIs), but found they didn't help much. I know I should go to a hospital and talk to someone about these issues, but I'm very poor and also quite frightened. I'm scared to think what will happen if I talk to someone about my issues.