Hello

[elevate]

I'm Lara, and I am sixteen...

For the past four years, I've been fighting suicidal thoughts. Well, for three years I've been fighting. Now I think I gave up. I have had no friends and a lot of pressure put on me. My Dad thinks I'm fat, ugly, and stupid, and for the past years I've been telling myself that he's wrong.

Now, I don't have the will to fight all of this anymore.

I have a boyfriend and a job now. But I don't, I can't, care. I just don't...feel like I used to. My writing got bad because the emotions feel false. I can't cry any more because it feels like it's all used up. I don't care about school, or my life. The fact that I want to die feels more like a fact now, not something different. It's like I wake up each day knowing that I don't want to live it...If I could describe it, I would say I am "passively suicidal".

I want to die. I just don't have the energy to make it happen.

I don't want to write a note, or think up a method. If I managed it, even, I would be afraid of waking up and having to deal with people. I'm too tired for all of this. I'm tired of life. I don't want to do any of this. I don't want a family, or a job, and I don't want to go to college, I don't want pets...I don't want ANYTHING in this world.

I don't know why I signed up here...I was hoping maybe someone would know how I'm feeling...and could tell me how to make it better...:/

 

[total eclipse]

Hi hun so it took a lot of strength to reach out here hun so you do still have a bit of fighter in you. You are 16 hun you can go to the doctor everything will be confidential and talk to him;her okay see if you can get some medication to help you deal with this sadness this depression Also hun you have councillors at your school please talk to one of them you need to talk hun and they can help you also deal with this sadness inside you. Talk to a teacher anyone you trust and let them know how terrible sad you are.

with medication and some therapy hun you can feel better you will feel better so keep reaching out okay to the people around you and get some help to heal hugs

 

[jimk]

hello elevate, so sorry you so down now. one thing about most fo the members on here is that we been thru the same position..

it can get bettter for you. really it can.. like eclipse said with perhaps some meds and some good counseling from good people a lot of this can change for the better for you..

think is you still have to be alive to do this and get there.. I for one want this very much for you.. best wishes and take care, Jim

 

[Speedy]

Welcome, Lara. :hug: I'm glad there are many people here who can relate to how you are feeling. Take care...Mr. A

 

[Petal]

hi and welcome

 

[the_only_one]

hi, its good that you came here, everyone here can help you and when you are really down do. i am also sixteen and ive gone through the same stuff as you, it does get better. i dont know your bf but if you can trust him talk to him about it. im sure he would be happy to hep, if you ever need to talk to someone feel free to pm me