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Hello everyone,

I won't reveal my actual name, but you can all call me Ella. I am 20 years old and I am a sophomore in college. I have no siblings, just my best friend that is my "sister".

I have been suffering from depression/selfharm/suicidal thoughts since I was in 8th grade, so about 6 years. I go through different phases, sometimes I get a lot better, then I will go through a period of being so terribly low. I usually do not know what triggers these things, but usually it ties into me feeling alone or something happening that throws me for a loop.

I have never gone to a doctor/psychiatrist/psychologist because I rarely tell anyone about how I feel. When I do tell people I think I can trust, they always end up turning away, so I just don't mention it anymore.

I'm really hoping that being here can help me out somehow...I'm currently in one of my low periods and I just end up feeling hopeless, tired, stressed and completely alone in the world.

I look forward to talking to many of you.

Just like you, I'm living with all these madness in secret, too. But on this site, you'll never feel like you're alone. We're always here to listen. :hug:


Well-Known Member
Many times people turn away from others who are suffering emotionally because they are not sure what to say or what to do. And they themselves are struggling emotionally or are so fragile that they don't have the strength to help. Older people with more experience in life are a good source of help. May be you could try to speak to your parents or Grandparents. Your family really loves you, they want the best for you otherwise, why would they encourage college. Your expressions reveal that you probably come from a stable home life, use that resource to your benefit. Don't be afraid to seek medical attention, theirs no sense in suffering needlessly. Welcome to SF.

Please read this article. And also this one.


Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend
Welcome to the forums Ella..I hope you get to feeling comfortable here and open up.. There are also two diaries here a public one where we can read and a private one for you to write down your thoughts for yourself..Take care!!
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