Hi, not sure what to say. On the face of it my life is ok. Married, kid, im a nurse and studying to further my career currently. It's all false. My son is 2 and Im a shit mum. I'm failing him, im addicted to otc pain meds and have been for 18 months or so now. My body is suffering. My husband is going crazy at the money i spend and i think he doesnt like me very much. My mum is a better mother to my son than I am. If i wasnt here his life would be so much better. More fulfilled. My husband could move on and not have me around his neck anymore. I look forward to the oblivion. No more thnking, no more feeling so shit and useless. I want to die, I just dont know how to do it.