Discussion in 'Welcome' started by nonsense, Dec 18, 2011.

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  1. nonsense

    nonsense New Member

    I'm 17. Male.

    I don't know if I belong here. I don't feel depressed. I feel ok for the most part, really, sometimes pretty happy. I have a good life: pretty lonely, but I do that to myself.

    I think about killing myself, a lot. That seems to be where my mind likes to wander when it's not somewhere else. I don't know if that's "normal". I fantasize about it. I feel peaceful when I imagine it. I imagine potential suicide notes I'd write. I feel sad when I realize I won't ever go through with it. I don't know if that's "normal" either.

    I don't enjoy life that much and I'm not sure I ever have. I'd just rather not do it. I think perhaps I'm love sick. That is, I really want to love and be loved romantically (who doesn't?). I'm still not sure I'd want to live for that either, I don't know. I let myself drift away from all my friends, maybe find some new ones, then I drift away from them, too. I guess I could say I feel dull.

    I get sometimes get shaky when I post things and I feel stupid posting this; I'll be just fine and I know it. But anyways, that's me, or at least the portion of me I choose to present. It's very hard for me to be honest about these things because I'm not entirely certain of how I feel. I don't know what I'm expecting by joining this forum, or why I'm doing it. Whatever.
  2. thedeafmusician

    thedeafmusician Staff Alumni

    welcome to the forum, regardless of whether you 'belong' here or not. this place isn't necessarily only for people that are suicidal or people that are depressed, although it's the target demographic, i guess. i know i cain't stop you really, but please don't feel stupid for posting this, cause it's not a stupid post in the slightest!

    i get what you mean with being honest about things too though because it's something i struggle with a bit, myself.

  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    welcome nonsense. you are still young and got time to think, analyze and get to a better place for yourself.. i am glad that you don't think you are going to end life soon. you have the same feelings nad thoughts of a lot of ppl at this age.. you have said what you are feeling here.. that is good and hope you keep doing so. take care, Jim
  4. texaskitty

    texaskitty SF Cat Lady Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Welcome! I'm glad you found us.

    You will find people dealing with all sorts of problems here. Do don't worry about whether you belong, you are here therefore you do.

  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi and welcome to the forums! :)
  6. nonsense

    nonsense New Member

    Thank you all :)
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