I'm 17. Male. I don't know if I belong here. I don't feel depressed. I feel ok for the most part, really, sometimes pretty happy. I have a good life: pretty lonely, but I do that to myself. I think about killing myself, a lot. That seems to be where my mind likes to wander when it's not somewhere else. I don't know if that's "normal". I fantasize about it. I feel peaceful when I imagine it. I imagine potential suicide notes I'd write. I feel sad when I realize I won't ever go through with it. I don't know if that's "normal" either. I don't enjoy life that much and I'm not sure I ever have. I'd just rather not do it. I think perhaps I'm love sick. That is, I really want to love and be loved romantically (who doesn't?). I'm still not sure I'd want to live for that either, I don't know. I let myself drift away from all my friends, maybe find some new ones, then I drift away from them, too. I guess I could say I feel dull. I get sometimes get shaky when I post things and I feel stupid posting this; I'll be just fine and I know it. But anyways, that's me, or at least the portion of me I choose to present. It's very hard for me to be honest about these things because I'm not entirely certain of how I feel. I don't know what I'm expecting by joining this forum, or why I'm doing it. Whatever.