I'm Nicole, and I am diagnosed with major depression and have attempted to kill myself via pills twice in the past seven months. My family and some friends know, and I am seeing a therapist regularly (about once a week). Suicide passes through my mind daily, probably hourly if I'm not distracted by something else. I find joy in the gym, at school (surprisingly), or watching videos to make me forget my thoughts. Video games (unless they're really violent/horror-like) don't really do anything for me, which sucks because I've spent a lot of money on the Sims 2 expansion packs. I fake like everything is OK and my friends frequently tell me that I'm the most enthusiastic and optimistic person they know, but inside I'm exhausted, angry, and bitter. But I can't just not be who everyone knows me as. I've tried it before and I got bombarded with annoying questions like "Why are you so grumpy?", "You're really quiet", etc. I don't want to be that girl anymore. Anyway, I've registered on here to both help others and see if I can find a way to help myself.