Hi:
I thought I was determined to finish this off. I was looking up information on suicide when I came across this forum. I wasn't looking for help though (unless you count getting proper dosages, etc ). I am under the care of a psychiatrist and have a therapist as well. So I guess those aren't working (been under care since mid-June). My situation is such that it just isn't going to get fixed any time soon, if ever. I have been in anguish since last October..literally. I must have some hidden vestige of hope or I wouldn't have joined and posted here, right?
I'm 47 and have 5 children - 3 of whom are adult and don't live at home. The twins are 12 and live with my husband. We are separated right now due to "the situation" that never seems to get fixed. With drugs and talking and everything that goes with it, nothing is lessening this pain, sorrow, disappointment, fear. With every exhale, I seem to create new tears. Doc is adding remeron to my 300 mg wellbutrin to see if that will give it a boost or not. I did tell him on Wednesday, I wanted a lethal injection..not more drugs or talk. Got more drugs anyways. My husband has asked me not to do this..at least for a little while. He promised me back in October that he would help me to die instead of putting me through any more of this. (I think he feels that much guilt...) Point is? My kids and husband won't find me. All letters of explanation have been done for the children.
If I could just go home......I swear to you....everything would be okay....
I thought I was determined to finish this off. I was looking up information on suicide when I came across this forum. I wasn't looking for help though (unless you count getting proper dosages, etc ). I am under the care of a psychiatrist and have a therapist as well. So I guess those aren't working (been under care since mid-June). My situation is such that it just isn't going to get fixed any time soon, if ever. I have been in anguish since last October..literally. I must have some hidden vestige of hope or I wouldn't have joined and posted here, right?
I'm 47 and have 5 children - 3 of whom are adult and don't live at home. The twins are 12 and live with my husband. We are separated right now due to "the situation" that never seems to get fixed. With drugs and talking and everything that goes with it, nothing is lessening this pain, sorrow, disappointment, fear. With every exhale, I seem to create new tears. Doc is adding remeron to my 300 mg wellbutrin to see if that will give it a boost or not. I did tell him on Wednesday, I wanted a lethal injection..not more drugs or talk. Got more drugs anyways. My husband has asked me not to do this..at least for a little while. He promised me back in October that he would help me to die instead of putting me through any more of this. (I think he feels that much guilt...) Point is? My kids and husband won't find me. All letters of explanation have been done for the children.
If I could just go home......I swear to you....everything would be okay....