Hi, the name´s Paul. I´m seriously thinking about the suicide and found yourself certain methods to do it. I still got parents they wouldn´t take that success well, if all. Besides them I got really nothing to live for. Nothing brings me enjoyment or happiness anymore in this world. Nothing really interests me or makes me care about anything or anyone and it´s getting worse and worse past ten or fifteen years year by year, month by month, day by day. I got no friends or girlfriend both by intention and my attitude. For many years I keep finding just temporary or even no enjoyment in things. I suffer from social phobia probably. I can´t get myself into basic personal contact with someone else. 22 years old with no experience or degree. I don´t know what kind of work should I do or what should I later study and I care even less and less. I really wish to die, seeing no point to live whatsoever, but I don´t want my parents to suffer from my loss, even though my existence brings no profit to them at all. The pain I´m struggling with nevertheless grows and keeps growing. I don´t believe in any so called "professional help" by some psychiatrists since they just do this for living as we all have to "something" for living ´cause the life is nothing less then fight for survival, which you won´t survive anyway, so again what´s the real point to live? I´m tired of talking, breathing, walking, meeting the people (especially this one), I´m tired of the whole existence itself. In fact the sleeping might be actually something what brings me truly unpretending happiness to my life, except the waking up part though. Still I need to stay alive till my parents leave this world after happily and vitally life spending I guess, so they don´t have to live with the knowing I´m going to follow them as soon as possible. So if you got some tips and tricks how could I make my life little bit less unbearable till I could leave without risking somebody with be depressed because of my loss, I´d appreciate it. Thanks a lot and advance!