Discussion in 'Welcome' started by Ueirh, Sep 16, 2012.

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  1. Ueirh

    Ueirh New Member

    Before I go any further, I hope this isn't a triggering post. I'm sorry if it is, then remove it. I'm not quite used to how things work around here yet, though I DID read the rules.

    I'm Ueirh (yuh-ear). I've been suffering from depression since I split with my boyfriend in February. I met him in 2008, I started dating him on May 31 of 2010, and we broke up in February of this year. Before I had met him, I had been suffering from depression because I was very different than everyone and I never fit in. I got made fun of a mocked constantly. Why? Well, I had been living in Germany the first six years of my life, though born in Savannah, Georgia and living there the first month of my life. I spoke German and English, and my family and I vacationed to Egypt and such places, and moved around Europe A LOT. When we finally settled down in Florida I had a very hard time adjusting. I was just entering the school system, first grade. I had been home schooled the first half of the year and so I didn't know any math at all. I only knew how to read. I didn't know what days of the week were or month names. I don't know if that's normal. All I knew was how to write and read, which I hated at first. Now the only thing I love to do is read and write :irony:

    Anyway, he made me feel beautiful in so many ways and loved. My happiness was all that mattered to him, and though his kisses weren't exactly perfect, I adored him. Then towards the end of the relationship he went sort of cold. So did I, because I moved to a different school though living in the same town as before. We lasted through that from August to February, and it was my freshman year. I tried my best to stay upbeat and keep us together, but he never talked to me anymore and he barely replied to my texts. I kept trying to urge him to speak with me but it only lasted a while. I pretty much realized that what we had was dead, and I couldn't bare trying to share my love with someone who couldn't return it. So I broke up with him, and slowly I began to fall down hill again.

    I wasn't bullied anymore by people, and in my new school my group of friends was a lot better than before. I was accepted, embraced, and hugged, and smiled down on about my artistic talents and bubbly attitude. But when I'm not surrounded by my friends I'm extremely depressing and depressed. I keep my room dark with a blanket over the window. I wear nothing but black, white, and grey. I don't like wearing colors. I used to cut. In fact, I once carved the letter "J" into my elbow with< edit mod total eclipse triggering > in 2008 that the scar is still there, very vivid and bold. J was the first letter of my ex's name.

    I also have an ED-NOS, eating disorder not otherwise specified.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 16, 2012
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Hello Ueirh my daughter use to do the same wear all dark clothing i kept introducing a different color to her each time we went shopping now she does not wear dark colors at all
    Try hun just introduce some colors into your wardrobe it will help you feel better. Hugs
  3. jimk

    jimk Staff Alumni

    hi Ueirh.. welcome to SF's.. hope this website proves to be a safe plasce for you... we take you just the way you are always.. look around some at all the forums.. maybe some will hit a familar chord in you.. hope to hear from you some more.. got any questions please just let us know.. Jim
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