Before I go any further, I hope this isn't a triggering post. I'm sorry if it is, then remove it. I'm not quite used to how things work around here yet, though I DID read the rules. I'm Ueirh (yuh-ear). I've been suffering from depression since I split with my boyfriend in February. I met him in 2008, I started dating him on May 31 of 2010, and we broke up in February of this year. Before I had met him, I had been suffering from depression because I was very different than everyone and I never fit in. I got made fun of a mocked constantly. Why? Well, I had been living in Germany the first six years of my life, though born in Savannah, Georgia and living there the first month of my life. I spoke German and English, and my family and I vacationed to Egypt and such places, and moved around Europe A LOT. When we finally settled down in Florida I had a very hard time adjusting. I was just entering the school system, first grade. I had been home schooled the first half of the year and so I didn't know any math at all. I only knew how to read. I didn't know what days of the week were or month names. I don't know if that's normal. All I knew was how to write and read, which I hated at first. Now the only thing I love to do is read and write :irony: Anyway, he made me feel beautiful in so many ways and loved. My happiness was all that mattered to him, and though his kisses weren't exactly perfect, I adored him. Then towards the end of the relationship he went sort of cold. So did I, because I moved to a different school though living in the same town as before. We lasted through that from August to February, and it was my freshman year. I tried my best to stay upbeat and keep us together, but he never talked to me anymore and he barely replied to my texts. I kept trying to urge him to speak with me but it only lasted a while. I pretty much realized that what we had was dead, and I couldn't bare trying to share my love with someone who couldn't return it. So I broke up with him, and slowly I began to fall down hill again. I wasn't bullied anymore by people, and in my new school my group of friends was a lot better than before. I was accepted, embraced, and hugged, and smiled down on about my artistic talents and bubbly attitude. But when I'm not surrounded by my friends I'm extremely depressing and depressed. I keep my room dark with a blanket over the window. I wear nothing but black, white, and grey. I don't like wearing colors. I used to cut. In fact, I once carved the letter "J" into my elbow with< edit mod total eclipse triggering > in 2008 that the scar is still there, very vivid and bold. J was the first letter of my ex's name. I also have an ED-NOS, eating disorder not otherwise specified.