Help coming out?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Morgana, Aug 29, 2011.

  1. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    Um...so due to circumstances beyond my control, I get to tell my parents I'm bi in less than a week! :grr: [Long story short--my sister's bf is a douchebag and threatened that he would tell my parents I'm bi--and since I called the cops on him for threatening to punch me after that...yeah, I'm pretty sure he's gonna go through with it :mad: ]

    My parents are very religious and conservative. My mom's a little...more open to the idea, since she does think LGBT people deserve rights--she just thinks there should be "civil unions." My dad on the other hand says that gay people should burn in hell and that they deserve no rights. :sad:

    I -think- if I can put it to them the right way, they at least won't disown me, but I don't even know that for sure. :( This really sucks. I hadn't planned on telling them until I was completely independent. I'm not. At all. And I don't know how my aunt will react, either, for that matter. But she's said before how I shouldn't let anyone, man or woman, hit me, so she seemed a little...open to the idea? Ish? I hope, anyway.

    Has anyone else had to basically come out before someone outs them? Any tips? Please? I'm seeing my friend tomorrow hopefully, and she has some thoughts about it, but I'm just...a bit worried and desperate now. -sighs-
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Your parents will be a shocked perhaps but they will always love youhun Just be truthful okay tell them who you are inside and that you hope they willunderstand and accept that inner person hugs
     
  3. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Whenever one has to reveal something intimate, and seemingly unpopular, I think it is critical to so do with an understanding of your self-worth...people will feel that,and will be less invited to have an open field day at your expense...what ever their reactions will be, they will be, and these are their problems..you have to be resolved that you are a good person and this is how you are...best of luck and I hope you are met with more caring and understanding than you fear
     
  4. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member

    Thank you two. :hugtackles:

    I don't know. I am kind of tempted to go with what my bf suggested, and just say that I've kissed a girl a few times, but not actually say outright that yes, I'm fully bisexual. And say I'm in love with a man now and plan to be with him the rest of my life. Which is true, actually. But I don't know. -sighs- My parents are not the type to be loving and accepting at all, they're more the type to throw you into the street and kick you when you're down if you don't fit their very narrow ideals. So I'm not really all that hopeful.

    I really wish my bf's power would come back on, he was affected by the hurricane--he didn't get the flooding and stuff, but definitely got stuck with the power outage, and it sucks. :3
     
  5. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    If you're Bi, and currently in a straight relationship, I don't see why anyone would believe this guy.
     
  6. Morgana

    Morgana Well-Known Member


    I think the problem is, I kind of admitted in text I was going to tell my parents, so if they want to see the texts [which I saved for the threats], they're going to see it. So I have to admit to something.

    The other problem is, my sister apparently hates me and wants to eff my life over just as much as he does...and she's known since 2008. So if she takes up his side and agrees with him, she might still have proof in writing I told her. I don't know, though.

    I think maybe I can just play it off as like I kissed a girl, and leave it at that. So they'd be disappointed or whatever, but it would end up ok, and hopefully they'd just be disappointed/mad at HIM.

    Then again, my dad told me yesterday [I got to talk to him a little bit--their signal out in the 'wild' is really bad] that "he wouldn't hurt you." So who knows if they will actually believe me at all. -sighs-

    Unless that is, I can become completely independent by the end of the week, in which case, I say eff them. :tongue: The chances of that happening, however, are pretty slim.
     
  7. 1izombie

    1izombie Well-Known Member

    hmm i would personally let him do it, don't let him intimate you into doing something you're not ready to do. I think your over analyzing it a little bit as well. It doesn't matter what you said in the past (written down or not) tell them that now you're in a committed relationship with your bf, and that's what counts. Tell them you love him and want to sped the rest of your life with him. That's what i would say and when you're ready (like no longer dependent on your parents) you can tell them on you're own terms.
     
  8. Tonight

    Tonight Member

    Let him and your sister do it, then ask them why they would want to try and either start a family fight, or hurt your parents like that.

    Turn it back on them.
     
  9. pbobble

    pbobble Well-Known Member

    Its sad that you've been placed in this situation, your sisters bf is obviously a real asshole. Perhaps playing it off as you kissed a girl kind of thing might be the best option. Especially if you are still living with your parents.

    However if you have to and need to tell them, then be honest, it sounds like your mum has a more progressive attitude, and she may influence your dad in your favour.

    This whole thing tends to be annoying, I've recently discovered a homophobic element in my mum, my stepdad probably too, don't know really. Shame as I was considering talking to my sister about the whole bi thing to get it off my mind, but don't think I'll bother yet.

    Of the people who know, if anyone tried to out me, in one sense I prob wouldn't care too much about people finding out. Yet for the privacy thing alone, If it was a guy we would probably come to blows. I think you should be able to tell who you want about such personal things and thats that.

    Good luck, hope it works out ok for you.