I feel really depressed, I want to hurt myself and not just cutting, like I have done in the past. I want to do something that will really do some damage. How can I ask my family for help when they don't even understand what is going on. My life is just one big disaster. I don't work but I do have my nieces at times and it is getting to be a challenge to watch them. I have had thoughts of suicide because I do not want to deal with my depression. I don't know what to do, however I do know I want to stay out of the hospital.