Help For a friend (dangerous)

Discussion in 'Welcome' started by zenarrrow, Apr 11, 2016.

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  1. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    Last night while at work things slowed down and a friend of mine confronted me, he has always talked about suicide and I wrote it off as a joke. But last night he went into it again in detail. Also, he spoke of how easy it would be to harm (kill) others at work or in a store. I am now very sure that he has a plan for his own death and maybe the death of others. I DO take everything he has said seriously now. My fear is that if I say something to HR and he is exposed he may lose his job, not only would he blame me but others may act as if I "wasn't taking a joke" (recently a fellow worker was fired due to my testimony that he was setting booby traps around a very industrious work area where someone may get hurt).as he is a clown, and does things to make people laugh and think twice about what he says. I would hate to have him lose his job, a very good one I might add. But a lot of this seems like a desperate cry for help.
     
  2. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    Your friend needs help, and he needs it now. Not only does he wish to harm himself, but others as well. That is no joke.
    Have you tried to talk him into getting help? As in going to a hospital for immediate help?
     
  3. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Hello Zenarrow, that sounds like a dangerous situation. I think I would have to report that to HR, unfortunately these days, statements like this person has made have to be taken seriously for the safety of all. Maybe you can do it anonymously if you fear repercussions from this individual. He really needs help.
    Brian
     
  4. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    I have tried talking to him, last night. I live in a desolate state and I am 100 miles from him now, we meet at a coal mine between us. He has always joked about suicide, I thought it a joke. But last night he told me how he understands why people kill indiscriminately. He went into detail about his "plans" for just suicide. That there is no hope no friends at work, headaches he gets before he arrives etc. Like I said, I recently had someone fired for setting up traps, and being a coal mine people (behind my back think me a "snitch", for protecting my coworker. And the fellow admitted to setting these traps, to hurt someone. But again, in a coal mine all I did was "lose this guys job" I don't want to come across as someone who gets others axed, but I believe he is close to the edge. Also, I could not talk him into seeking help. he is 30 yrs old, lives with parents and is ashamed. Should I make a call to our HR dept?
     
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  5. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    I know it's the right thing to do (talking to HR), but I hate to get him fired, hate to be known as a rat, cause it is just a coincidence these 2 separate things happened so close.. But he seems to be asking for help, almost as if he came to me to open up and ask for guidance Just in a tough spot.
    .
     
  6. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    It's really not my place to advise you one way or the other. From what you say, it sounds like a serious threat. What do you feel about the situation. My concern is, if he is serious about taking his life and possibly hurting others, how will you feel if you don't report it. It's a difficult decision, nobody wants to be thought of as a "snitch" on the same aspect, we're potentially dealing with lives here. Is there anyway that you could report this anonymously, the person obviously needs help and has some serious issues.
    Brian
     
  7. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    I don't see any other way, I have to report him. Why else would he tell me in detail.....? Just have to muster up the strength. Got off work this morning, go back on Friday, I have to report it to HR. I just feel like he was confiding in me secrets he had, came down to my office while everyone was a way and opened up to me. just feels like a major betrayal. I know it is easy to say "you have to do it" but it is hard.
     
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  8. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    I will report back to you guys after I have and let you know what happened. Thanks Brian and phantomlady.
     
  9. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    Just, what if I am wrong......
     
  10. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    I'm sorry you have been put in this situation Zenarrow, it is difficult to know what to do and there's no way of knowing if he's serious or not. I usually go with my gut instinct. I hope it all works out for the best. Take care of yourself.
    Brian
     
  11. ThePhantomLady

    ThePhantomLady Safety and Support SF Supporter

    I think you do need to go to HR about this, like Brian suggested, would it be possible to do it anonymously?
    It's a very serious threat, not only to put his own life in danger, but threaten to hurt others as well. That's no joke.
     
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  12. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    Yes, it sounds like he wants help. I wouldn't consider it betrayal, you may be saving his life and potentially the lives of others. You're acting out of the greater good of all involved.
     
  13. zenarrrow

    zenarrrow Member

    I just want to say thank you all. What a great service you all are doing. It is nice just to have somewhere to bounce my concerns off, even if I was on the fence about what to do, you all were ready to listen and help, and LISTEN. I cannot thank you all enough. Keep up the great work Friends.
     
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  14. Brian777

    Brian777 Safety and Support Forum Pro SF Supporter

    You're more than welcome zenarrow, I'm glad we were able to help you. It's nice to hear a positive response. Take care of yourself my friend and hope is well at your work place :)
    Brian
     
  15. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    And what was the result of what ifs.
     
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