help for a friend

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by LadyCaet, May 5, 2008.

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  1. LadyCaet

    LadyCaet Guest

    I will try to make this short..
    I have a friend, a guy friend, that I am really close to. I love him to death and if anything ever happened to him I'd be devestated.
    He recently went through some rough times with his girlfriend, she broke up with him then came back to him, pregnant with his kid, then miscarried. As of yesterday she had broken up with him again. He's super upset, and he messaged me to tell me goodbye, that he couldn't handle it anymore.
    I called him back immediately, and asked him what was up, that is when I found out she had broken up with him. He said he was going out with friends and that whatever happened, happened, and that he'd text me later.
    Last night I got several messages from him, starting out ok but then getting scarier and scarier, to the point that he was saying things like "she's a b*ch that left a loser, I hope she comes to my funeral when I'm done with all this" and "I'll be dead within a week, I just have to say my goodbyes first". Eventually, his friend took over his cellphone and sent me a message saying that he was really really sick, and that they were taking care of him. The friend told me he had tried to kill himself yesterday afternoon, but that his roommate found him in time. I'm not sure why he wasn't taken to the hospital at this point so don't ask me.
    I haven't heard anything since 4am and the messages from his friend. He didn't answer any of my messages today, or my MSN message. I tried to call his phone but I got the voicemail saying he'd call me back as soon as possible. I left a message saying to message me or something, but he hasn't yet.
    I don't know what to do. I just moved to a different province, I'm a 14 hour drive away without a car. I don't know the phone number for any of his friends, just his cellphone and that's going directly to voicemail. He is military, so I can't even call the hospital because he would have been taken to the military hospital.
    The text message about "being dead in a week" is haunting me, especially since I haven't heard from him all day. I have no clue what to do, if I can even do anything. Does anyone have any advice from me, I'm having a hard time sleeping because I keep thinking that something bad has happened already...
  2. famous.last.words

    famous.last.words Forum Buddy

    oh hun, this sounds like a really horrible situation, and im sorry.
    Im not sure really what you can do other than keep trying to ring him, and wait for a reply.
    If he did attempt, its likely he will be in the hospital or at least feeling very rough for a while. that may be the only reason he is not answering.
    If one of his friends knew how worried you were, and that you are close that they would call you if things had got worse.

    Its horrible, but i think you just need to wait. Unless, you could try calling round hospitals and asking just in case he has been sent to a different one.

    Be safe, im sorry i dont have better advice.
  3. ThoseEmptyWalls

    ThoseEmptyWalls Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could try calling some his family if he has any. If he did go to hospital the next of kin or emergency contact would of been notified. Its either you try and locate someone to get some answers, you wait, or you jump on a bus and head that direction...
  4. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Give it some more time. I can only imagine how tough this must be but hang in there. I'm sure you will hear from him very soon.
  5. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I would start with..." I am really concerned about you...' and recruit him to make a safety plan with you...get the numbers you desire, have him identify one person he can go to where he lives/works that can help, etc. This will take some of the pressure off of you, and provide him with a greater support system...hope he is doing better, and maybe suggest he comes here too...wish everyone had a friend like you...big hugs, J
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