help! - I met someone online who is suicidal

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by ron00, Aug 10, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. ron00

    ron00 New Member

    3 days ago, I met a girl online who i hit it off with. we talked for a while. She lives in another state far away. I am 24, she's 21. She told me about her failed engadgement she is in, and how she is going to leave him as soon as she gets some money together to get her own place and get out of his house. We hit it off good, and starting flirting that night. We ended up having phone sex.

    The next day, I felt somewhat guilty. I realized that even though she knew it was over between her and her fiance, maybe he hadn't fully accepted it, and it probably wouldn't be right for me to continue to talk to her.

    So last night i found her in chat, and told her how i felt about the situation. I was nice about it. Within a couple of minutes she got extremely defensive and starting talking about how suicidal she is. I asked her why she's suicidal. She said because no one loves her. I ended up calling her because i was so worried, and she was in a horrible state of mind, like a different person.

    I suggested she call her fiance, she said she just did, but that he didn't believe her and said she was exaggerating. And he wouldn't be home until the next day because hes a paramedic. I told her to call her parents. She said they won't believe her, because her mom already had her committed to a psych ward a while back for two weeks. She was in a completely depresssed state of mind and i could not help her to see anything positive. She was completely pissed at me and said i had used her. She was mad at the world, mad becuase her best friend wasn't talking to her either.

    She ended up hanging up on me. I debated for hours last night if I should call 911 and give them her phone number. But something was telling me not to get anymore involved or to say or do anything else that could agitate her.

    The thing is, I don't know her, I barely talked to her 2 nights before. For all i know she might not even be who says she is, might not be 21, might not even be suicidal. I was worried that she could just be mad at me for ending the little phone affair and made up the suicidial act to lay a major guilt trip on me. I just felt deep down that if she's this unstable, what might she do if I call the police. (Deny that she's suicidal so i look like a prankster? or worse yet, tell them i'm harrassing her or something?)

    But also deep down, I kinda feel I shoulda called 911......i just don't know, I'm so torn. I feel like she could be manipulating me, but I also feel like she could be for real.

    Any thoughts?
  2. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    Right now I would just take care of your self. You did the right thing by not calling the police. You have only known her for a day. She doesn't sound very stable. If she wants to talk to you, let her take that step. I would be very carefull my friend.
  3. leftoutsidealone

    leftoutsidealone Well-Known Member

    I don't want to put the blame on you but you did sort of use her, even if it only was "phone sex" (I don't know what that is, but I assume she might have shared something very personal with you during that conversation), and then you basically said you want to back off. I just want to warn you for your own and others' sake not to rush on with internet and real world relationships so fast - someone might get hurt. Now we know for sure that you're hurt and worried about her. 911 won't help. I think I'd recommend calling her again - sometimes when a desperate girl hangs up, she exactly wants you to call back, wants to see that you really care. If you are worried, call her back - you might calm her, and your own heart.
  4. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    Firstly hi-5 for getting to phone sex after talking 2 nights, secondly dont worry about it at all. Seems to me that your friend maybe overwhelmed by everything, she was supposed to be getting married to this guy and now she's having second thoughts andthen she met you and flirted around, maybe she feels as though she's messed things up, i dunno. As for you you havent done anything wrong, and you really did the best you could given the situation, calling the police wouldn't have done anything to be honest (i've rang them a few times, they're not tht helpful sometimes...) I would suggest a 24hour cooldown time, then send her a text or ring her just asking are you ok, simple as that, more than likely she will be fine and feeling a little silly maybe :)
  5. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Well, you know. Getting that personal with someone over the internet in such a short period of time is never really a good idea. If you just want phone sex, there are professional phone sex lines you can call without getting tangled up in someone's personal life. Sure. You have to pay for it but you see what you got yourself into.
  6. leftoutsidealone

    leftoutsidealone Well-Known Member

    Ed, you're gross! A heartless ego-maniac controlled by your tiny smth in the undies. People like you disgust me.

  7. Ed.

    Ed. Well-Known Member

    Yes, I am an absolute bastard.
  8. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 11, 2008
  9. jerrin

    jerrin Guest

    You are going through a rough time, but all things change, you must never give up, as time goes by many good things will come your way, and you must love yourself!If others cannot see the pain you suffer try telling them how you are feeling!I am sure that they will think again about actions they take.
    You must remember that being a teenager is hard , but you will not be one forever.Your life will not be like this forever, and if you were to leave, you could miss so very much.All the people who have answered you on here do not hate you, you say that it would tear your family apart, so you must know they love you.Talk to us on here, but never suffer these feelings feeling alone as if no one cares.hugs to you, and much love.

    please feel good soon.
  10. patacake

    patacake Well-Known Member

    hi ron

    well hun i think u ve experienced the rather down side of crossing the boudaries , im certainly not critising this at all on either of ur parts , in fact im not in a place to given that i have a relationship here myself , id be happy to chat to u more about this hun on msn if ud like to add me , i can probably share more views there , meanwhile pls keep safe and realising that ur friend is in a fragile place , if she comes back to u for friendship , then for now id keep it at that .

    :hug: take care

  11. ron00

    ron00 New Member

    Thank you to those of you who took the time to respond.

    But here's the latest on this situation. I went back into the chatroom yesterday in which I had orginally met her in. I managed to find a couple of people in there that know her. The bottom line is, she has been doing this for a long time. Threatening suicide to anyone who will listen. One girl in particular told me she called her and her mom threatening suicide, then later admitted to them that they were probably #55 on the list of people she's done this to.

    I feel at this point that I was manipulated and was just the target of this girls compulsion to seek attention. She obviously has problems, but I figure if her own parents and fiance know the situation, then they are in a much better place to deal with her than myself.

    My gut feeling tells me now that she is alive and still doing this to other people. I hope she gets the help she needs, but I'm going to take the advice of the people who know her in that chatroom and just walk away. I don't know her, and don't need the drama. I'm sure her parents have a good grasp on her mental state, especially considering they've already had her committed once.

    As for me, I'm done with chatrooms. I've been chatting with people online for about 10 years, and I've had enough, there are too many people with problems who use chat as a last resort, I don't need the extra drama. I have enough of my own problems to deal with.
  12. Summer.Rain

    Summer.Rain Well-Known Member

    Phone sex? lol!
    You know... just the fact she had this thing with you over the phone after few hours of talk
    may explain why her relations suck big time, i bet she is just so SHALOW
    and she probbly telling everyone shes suicidial just so that people
    will see in her more then just sex...
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.