I grew up in a very abusive home. My parents got arrested for physical abuse many times and for assisting in sexual assaults towards me. They moved around a lot so I was finally free when I was 18. I'm 20 now and I feel regret and extreme sadness... Why do I still dream of my parents who were so abusive and horrible to me? Why do I still defend them? Why do I accept the fact that I was a victim? They were terrible and did things which I wont mention. They left me physically and mentally scarred for life. Even though I am free of them now I am getting worse. The cuts get deeper and I have terrible feelings of guilt and anger. Why did I allow them to damage me so much? Is it my own weaknes that left me so emotionally scarred or am I mentally challenged from birth? I didnt even press charges against them I even had contact with my mother and sister I even went to their house only to be abused again Why cant I stop being a freakin victim?