Help Me Disappear.

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by TearsDropBloodTrickles, Oct 2, 2006.

  1. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    If you believe hard enough you can do anything, or thats what they tell us. So we strive for more, continue to live. I had dreams. I quickly learnt dreams dont come true. I cant do anything. I cant disappear.

    Each day is a struggle, its so hard now. I left home. I left home. I left home. Nope it doesnt get any easier to say. It was for the best, but now i feel so strange. So so so strange. I miss the little things, cleaning my room, sleeping in my bed, looking out my window. I miss being able to escape. Ah Escape.

    How i long to escape.

    Why am i even bothering, nobody has the words i long to hear.
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I don't know what words you long to hear but I can tell you this: I care about you:smile: and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I'll send you some hugs and love and hope because no matter how far away you may be, I can still be your friend.:smile:

    sending you (right now) love and hugs and hope and positive thoughts,:smile:


    least xoxoxox
  3. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    You care about me ? Thats not possible you dont even know me. I'd rather be told to shut up and stop complaining than recieve fake sympathy. >.< Dont say things just because you think you should...
  4. Abacus21

    Abacus21 Staff Alumni

    Least wasn't giving you fake sympathy -it's possible to care about someone who you don't know :)

    Hope you feel a little better soon :)

  5. srs

    srs Member

    maybe this is none of my business
    but why did u leave home ?
  6. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    As Joe, it is possible to care about people we don't care about, i care about alot of people here, this is a 'community' we should all look out and look after one another.

    vikki x
  7. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    Its really not bcos utimatly, if i was gone you wouldnt even notice. ^_^

    I left home because i had a very difficult relationship with my mother, and there was no chance of me getting better, if i was still around her. And also i thought her life would be better without me in it, all i seemed to do was cause her problems...
  8. srs

    srs Member

    where are u living now
  9. TearsDropBloodTrickles

    TearsDropBloodTrickles Well-Known Member

    With my Aunt, she said i could stay until i sort myself out, but even she doesnt understand. She keeps telling me i need to speak to my mum, or stop being so harsh to her. And she keeps telling me only i can help myself...I wish i knew how...
  10. Hey you,
    I know I haven't responded since I replied to your post about your Mom, and I told you what I went through with mine. I have been following your threads though. I'm sorry to hear that when you confronted her, that it not only made you both feel bad, but she didn't help with the response you needed.
    So, now you have moved away from her, and in with your aunt, and you feel really bad. I was curious, is you Aunt your Mum's sister? If she is, she may be more sensitive to her than to you, but you will still need a place to live.
    I mentioned the first time about trying to forgive your Mum for yourself, and to do it without waiting for her to "confess" her mistakes, and I hope you can still find a way to do that. She doesn't believe she did anything but the best that she could, and so did my Mom, but WE feel differently.
    As for people on here that you think don't care about you because they don't "know" you, that is untrue, and speaking for myself, I have been in similiar circumstances in my life, so I DO care and understand to the best of my ability.
    You come here for support, but act as though you don't believe that there is real concern from those here, but that is what this forum is for- Caring for people we may not have met in real life, but we share common bonds with. Bonds of unhappiness, depression, unresolved issues etc. I know we all have days that we feel no one cares, I know I do, so I come here. Not one person knows me here, but the support I have received so far, I believe in. If I couldn't come here, where else would I go? Obviously, I come here because those in my life are not helping me, and I need someone, anyone, to listen. I believe you need that too.
    So please keep coming here and posting, and try to feel the cyber hugs and tears that are for you and your life. At least I can speak for myself and say, "I do care about you and what happens to you, because I have felt that pain."
    You didn't know this, but the first time I left home, I moved in with my Aunt, I didn't stay long, but eventually that first move put me on my path to life. I have struggled, and I still do, but I feel better not being under my Mom's thumb.
    I hope you start to feel better, and I hope that this helps.
    Peace, Love, and Prayers,