Help me feel better

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Joyoflife, Sep 2, 2016.

  1. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    I can't stop thinking of ways to kill myself. I'm pretty sure I shouldn't but when I'm alone with my thoughts I feel like it's reasonable. I tried calling the suicide hotline and they made me feel worse. I wish I had just tried to distract myself and fallen asleep instead of talking to them. Now I'm stuck.
     
  2. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Hi there Joy! I like you name my the way. Why only when your alone do you feel it is reasonable?
     
  3. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    I guess I start thinking about it only when I'm alone with my thoughts.
     
  4. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    I can understand that. A lot of times when we humans are left alone with no one else to talk to the worst thoughts that are looming in our head come to the front of out mind. I find that the best way to handle these types of situations is to find people to hang out with, call, text with. Anything to make you have interaction with other people. Even finding a forum like this can be a great help sometimes. You are taking a step in the right direction. I encourage you to share your story and comment you own responses with other people. Start interacting and let me know how that works for you! Is there anything else that you want to talk about or that I could do to help you right now?
     
  5. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    I went to the ER yesterday. I saw psychiatrist today and I have appt for intake to PHP next Thursday. I have a physical Tuesday and therapy appointment. So pretty much I just need to make it through to Tuesday. I'm just worried. My plan at first was haphazard. But then when I got home from the ER I googled it and realized it wouldn't have done shit most likely. So them I googled best methods. I talked to JT therapist though and was better til now mostly. But now I'm looking online how to procure what I need just in case.
     
  6. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    Guess I'm going to try to sleep. 3am huh?
     
  7. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    You have to take it one step at a time. You are doing all the right things by getting help. In order to make it to that Tuesday try and minimize your alone time. Try to keep yourself busy as much as possible. Don't let yourself have too much down time. It will be difficult because right now, I am sure, you just want to be alone and lay in bed. Try your hardest to get out of bed and do something. Take a shower each day. Make sure to eat. Keep those basic human needs going. Focus on those! Try and get some sleep.
     
  8. Piexes

    Piexes Well-Known Member

    i called a couple hotlines earlier in the week when i was feeling really bad, so i feel you...it was bizarre...both people sounded so detached and the concern was so impersonal and fake...it struck me as sorta funny but also scary, considering the emotionally vulnerable state people are in when they call...and to be greeted by bored-sounding customer service voice...god i feel so bad bagging on them because they are human too, but also like...it felt so strange...

    absurdity helps me...my absurd sense of humor kicked in a bit after that..heh
     
  9. Piexes

    Piexes Well-Known Member

    oh my god i hope me saying that didn't make you feel worse! this kind of stuff also helps me-

     
  10. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    You did fine. I put the phone down and got some sleep. 2 hours! Hopefully more if I try again. The video is very nice and explains what I feel when I go to church (new to me - 4 weeks now) very well. We are all connected. I may ask my minister if he's up for 1 in the morning calls...

    Briezy, I am trying to follow the advice to just not be alone. I actually don't WANT to be alone in bed and crying. I just have to sleep somewhere! And it happens to be alone in my bed!
     
  11. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    Joy, is there anyone else living with you? I know it may sound weird but I also find sleeping in a different place like on the couch in the living room with the TV on quietly sometimes helps me. Or even just playing music or listening to a movie on your phone while trying to sleep helps. It helps me to focus on something other than my thoughts while trying to sleep. I am so proud of you that you got even a little bit of sleep. I hope you got a little bit more and that tonight is a better night. Let me know how you are doing!
     
  12. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    Yes, my 16 year old daughter lives with me. I slept 6 hours last night! That's really good for me. I also just had the thoughts fleetingly yesterday - and I was alone for a bit - I even took a nap yesterday too. Hoping it's going to stay away but this is still where I went when I woke up so I know I need to follow all the recommendations still. I did read and listen to some music before bed last night. Thanks!
     
  13. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    I am so proud of you Joy! I am so happy that it was all a little bit better! Coming here is not a bad thing. it just means that you found comfort in it which is probably something that you are lacking right now. Here is to more good days!
     
  14. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    Yeah I am feeling unsafe again right now. Thoughts aren't strong. Just feel uncomfortably unsafe. Chest tight. Breath short. Tense. Teeth clenched. I don't understand how people live with this feeling for so long.
     
  15. Briezy

    Briezy Well-Known Member

    What can I do to help you get out of this feeling? Have you tried grounding. I like to do the countdown method...

    find:
    5 things you can see
    4 things you can touch
    3 things you can hear
    2 things you can smell
    1 thing you can taste

    I also like to try square breathing. Basically you breath in for three hold for three breath out for three then hold for three all while imagining you are tracing a square in your head while you breath.

    Let me know how those work for you!
     
  16. Joyoflife

    Joyoflife Member

    Thanks for this and for chatting. The "butterfly hug" you taught me worked the best. For others, it was to cross your arms over your chest and alternate tapping your left and right shoulders with your closest hand.

    My T has taught me these: breath in through the nose for the count of 4, hold for the count of 7, breath out through the nose for the count of 8. Also, breath in through the nose a big breath, then breath in through the nose more, then once more, then breath out through the mouth like you're fogging up a window.