A couple days ago I wrote this here : I was writing a letter to the American Embassy when my father came into the room. He took the paper from me and read it. He began telling me how much he loves me, and how that letter would destroy him and everything he ever worked for. He said if I wanted him dead, he would finished right there and then and he took his gun and put it to his head. He was screaming at me asking me if I wanted him to do it ? I was crying, ashamed, because honestly, I wanted him to do it. But I said no, I was terrified of what he would doit to me if I said yes. He put the weapon down and hug me. He said he was sorry, that he would not hurt me anymore. Only love me. I wonder what does he means by that ? He has taken a few days off and stayed with me, watching me 24-7 He hasn't touched me since then... maybe he won't do it again ? I don't know ... I'm so tired of all this, living in fear... I want to end. But this morning, I realized what he meant by love me. He's not going to stop, as long as I don't resist, he won't use force. Well, I did resist and he asked me why was it that I can't understand that he loves me ? He hit me again, and I am locked in my room. I decided to run away. I want to ask if there is anyone here in from germany ? I just need a place to stay for a day or two till I get some money then I will be on my way. Thanks.