help me. it hurts.

[UsedToBe]

Help me. It hurts. I can't go to my gp because he will refer me to crisis team. I know.everyone in there as I worked with them in the same building. They know my never-to-be boyfriend and he doesn't know how I feel.
Staying in bed all day, not even eating. I don't want my children to see me like that, yet I can't move... trying to hold on till tuesday counselling.
Why didn't I jump yesterday?

 

[jxdama]

i understand. no one can help me.

 

[wild rabbit]

oh dear, sorry you feel so bad.

your gp should refer you to an out of area crisis team, in a neighbouring health trust, you should explain you need hidden patient status as you will not access a service where you feel your confidentiality would be at stake, causing you to not be able to access care. There was a big inquiry into the death of a doctor and her baby which happened becasue she felt the same concerns as you, it was the Emson Inquiry, which may be worth looking at the recommendations to arm yourself with info to put your case across.

I used it myself when tying to get confidential treatment, but i am still treated by the same trust i wok for, just by a team my clients dont access and the dr keeps my notes separate and im a number not a name.

you really need to ask for some help though, and if its a struggle to get hidden status ask for help from an advocate.

keep talking x

 

[Butterfly]

Juniper go to A&E hun or one out of your town. If you went through the gp route they might not refer you to crisis and if that is the case you can request to be under a different team as you have the right to maintain your confidentiality hun. You need to get help as soon as hun. And as foe not jumping last night, its because you didnt want to die and wanted to get help. We are all here for you pm me if you need to. Take care and stay safe xxx

 

[Decode]

Like others have said you could get an emergency appointment at your doctors or go a&e and explain this, i'm sure they could assign you to an out of area team. I hope you feel better soon.

 

[UsedToBe]

Thank you all. I just read Emson Inquiry... i am too an NHS employee and I'm worried I could lose my job.

 

[Butterfly]

Juniper. I am an NHS employee too. You have to believe me when I say you will not lose your job!!!

 

[wild rabbit]

bar being a doctor i tick every box of the emson, but i still work and use services, you just have to flex your rights a bit, and the good thing that came out of the tragedy is now services have to have systems in place to protect employees if they become unwell, so go see you GP, explain the situation, ask for an out of area referral and they should help, and if they dont contact an advocate.

dont be worried, if you work for the NHS then you are fine, they not only have policies that make it difficult to sack people (and Im a GMB union rep so have seen this in action) but you are also one of their treasured staff as they have quotas to fill of disabled staff, so they should be fine.

 

[UsedToBe]

Worth trying then - I'm tired of fighting for my life on my own. I actually work in MH services, just wondering what can happen if I wanted to change my job (which I'm planning to, fighting tooth and nail for not falling in love with my colleague). What about health screens?

 

[Butterfly]

I dont think you have to declare depression it depends where it is you are wanting to work.

 

[wild rabbit]

I had to go for a medical, it was only 18 months after a 5 week admission, and they contacted my GP, who was very good and sort of minimised the impact, and it was evident from his records I hadnt had a sick not in 9 years, and that was ultimately what the new employers wanted to hear.

One good thing is if you have a health problem, you are classed as disabled and you can apply for a new job in the nhs under the guaranteed interview scheme they have to ensure they meet targets for employing disabled people, so just as long as you fill the form in properly, its all down to the interview.

there is always an answer x

 

[BornFree]

Hugs...

I don't have words right now but just wanted to send you hugs and support.

I know how you feel with not wanting your children to know... its so hard being torn between your own valid feelings and the overwhelming need to love, care and protect your children.
This just shows what a kind and caring Mum you are that even in your own turmoil you're still thinking of them. Surely they would want you to access any help you can so you're not in pain? There must be a way... to stay anonymous, Could you maybe investigate under the guise that you are investigating for someone you know, a "patient working in NHS" ?
With all its demands, people who work in NHS are human and anyone can have a blip... no matter how professional...!

Despite my own feelings of despair, I still see suicide as a tragedy and am glad you didn't jump.

Take care x