My world is falling apart. I am feeling so alone right now. I mean yeah i have my bf, and he is amazing but i still feel so alone and pathetic. My x, dumped me, for another girl. he cheated on me for ages before he got the guts to actually dump me, that night he slept with her but still had time to tell me that he still loved me. that he didnt wanna hurt me. he made it feel like it was me who pushed him onto rachel. for the next week he kept stringing me along, and like the fool i am i fell for every word. anyways then after that week my current bf, matt, started to pull me together. i felt so low. my two so-called best friends were there for me for like a day before they got back to their own lives. i thought things would start to get better when i agreed to going out with matt. but then beau killed himself. beau was the guy that intruduced me to cutting. i met him three years ago, and we totally clicked because we were both going through a really bad part of our lives. we just got each other. we had made a pact that he couldnt commit suicide aslong as i didnt and vice versa. cept he moved to australia, a little after his gf died in a car accident. we lost contact then i found out he had given up so now its like why shouldnt i just give up? i mean ashleigh and jen (my "best friends") dont even know i exist anymore. rachel is now ashleighs best friend and jen and rachel are real close. Matt is about to leave me because he cant handle my cutting and been so suicidal. my family hates me. and the one person that was never meant ta give up, gave up.