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Help Me Please :(

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Nuktora, Nov 8, 2007.

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  1. Nuktora

    Nuktora New Member

    Hi, I don't know what to say, I'm a new member, but I feel so depressed I want to die. Right now I hate my parents, I don't even know why, but every time I look at them, I am just filled with hate. I know it would devastate them if I were to kill myself tonight, but part of me wants that. They are laughing and talking upstairs completely oblivious to the fact that I am crying my eyes out. I need someone to talk to-a living tangible person, but I have no one. If it weren't for my bird Pickles, I would have already done it. But I'm scared...I have never liked taking pills, and I know I wouldn't be able to take a bunch of them and I thought if I took a whole bottle of melatonin, it might work but apparently there is virtually no way to overdose one it, so now I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of hell! My parents are devout christians, and I'm agnostic, and I hate God if he exists for creating me when he knew I would be this depressed and then send me to hell. I don't know what to do...please help.
  2. Kayetan

    Kayetan Active Member

    Don't do it. That's all I can really say. I feel the same as you most of the time, except I am unable to cry, and I don't want to talk to anyone. I can't say things will get better, but you need to hold it out. It's difficult, and it hurts, but maybe someday, and hopefully soon, you will feel differently. Call a friend, or a hotline, tell your parents what's going on, even if you can't stand them. Write it out, sometimes that helps for awhile. I hope things work for you. As for religion, I lost my faith months ago. I believe in God, but I don't believe he is as powerful as we think, or that he cares what we do. The idea of punishment for suicide doesn't make sense to me. If he loves us, why do we hurt? It's pascal's gamble I guess; have faith and be rewarded if God exists, if not, then you will be remembered for your deeds. Lose faith and live a life you want and be punished if God exists, if not, you had fun while it lasted. Don't take the risk, hold on to your life.
  3. ace

    ace Well-Known Member

    Nuktora,I'm very pleased to meet you I know you're in such pain and it feel's like noone cares or understands but I care i really do.If you really would feel more comfortable talking via PM I'm more than happy to do that.
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