help me please

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Malcontent, Jun 24, 2010.

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  1. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I can't go on like this. I'm suicidal all the time, every fucking day. Even when good things happen I think I should kill myself because it's never gonna get better than this. I know I need to do something about it but I don't know what. I've tried everything I can, been to the doctor so many times but I can't get the help I really need cos I can never tell them the truth. If I tell my doctor I want to kill myself they'd have to section me and I know that wont help. I don't want to die but I want to kill myself. I can't do this. I'm not depressed, I actually quite like myself, I can see hope for the future, I keep myself busy, I do everything I'm supposed to combat depression. It's not depression. I just think of suicide constantly, I can't see the point in not doing it. There's nothing to stop me, nothing to keep me here. I don't want to do it, I want to be free of these thoughts but they wont stop.
  2. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Hey Mal, sorry your having a rough time I have the same thoughts every single day and it just gets to much to fight them on your own. Listen the fact that you see a future well that is awesome. I think somehow you need to talk to the doctor because they won't commit you, because you are seeking help. So essentially what they will ask you is how you would like to be supported, it might help you understand your thought processes speaking to someone, I know it is slowly helping me, please keep posting though and I hope this makes sense. I can tell you more about what the doctors have said to me if you like, so you can get a better understanding of what to expect?
  3. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    Hi Malcontent..

    I know what you mean about not being able to tell the doctor how you feel.. i had to write my doctor a note.. saying that i wanted help.. and felt like my only option was suicide.. it was the only way i could 'get it out'..
    What about writing down how your feeling.. then handing him/her the note? or prehaps take someone you trust with you?

    One of my biggest fears was being sectioned unvoluntarily at the point i admitted it to him.. i was convinced an ambulance would come right away to the surgery and whisk me away in a straight-jacket! but that didnt happen..

    Unless you tell the doctor you are going to 'do it' when you leave the surgery.. that you have means and it all planned that very day.. that is the only time anything could happen..

    They will probably offer you support.. such as putting you in contact with a crisis team.. and assesing if you need any medication/change of any - if your on some already?

    In my experience.. it was a positive thing going to the GP.. i hope you can tell your doctor and get some support..

    Here if you ever want to talk..

    Take care :hug:
  4. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    You have to be honest so you can get right help okay. I tell my doctor about my ideas suicdal ideation and i am not locked up it just helps them to get us on right meds right therapy okay try okay get out of the mind set remember they are just thoughts but you need to tell someone to get well.
  5. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    I know I say this a lot, but I have this problem too. I will be doing my stuff and just out of no where start thinking about suicide. It is weird, so I am not sure how to help you not think about it.

    You say you are happy enough right Now. As long as you do not lose that feeling you will be fine. Just let the thoughts pass as they come.
  6. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow, I can't carry on like this. I probably wont tell them the complete truth but I think I need to go back on meds. I've tried therapy many times and it only helps for a short time. It's the suicidal feelings that make me depressed, not the other way round but no one ever seems to believe that.
  7. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    That is a really brave thing your doing, they will understand if you explain everything just be honest please that way they can help, good luck and let us know how it goes please?
  8. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    Good luck at the doctor, I really hope you're able to be as honest as possible so they're better able to help you!
  9. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Ignore this

    Someone kill me. Please. I'm worthless, I'm nothing. Everyone's better than me, everyone's smarter, more attractive, more interesting, more talented. I need to be dead, I need to erased from existance. KILL ME
  10. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    Umm no but I can sit here and talk to you, what's made you feel like this?
  11. Forgotten_Man

    Forgotten_Man Well-Known Member

    Please tell the truth friend. Good luck.
  12. plates

    plates Well-Known Member

    Being suicidal the way you have been feeling for so long can make you depressed. Do you think you're having intrusive thoughts which is related to being very very anxious at the moment?

    Medication is a bit like a plaster on a wound, but it can help for a while. Did they ever help?

    Therapy is tricky- finding the right therapist to work with and sticking it out when it doesn't seem to be working.

    You say you don't know what to do and it's okay to feel like that- maybe that will become clearer in time.

    You won't be sectioned because of telling a GP (?) you're going to kill yourself. That's really a last resort and takes a few MH professionals to do.

    How did the doctor's appointment go?
  13. Malcontent

    Malcontent Staff Alumni

    Been put on citalopram 20mg
  14. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    That's okay I have that too, it makes you feel bad for a few weeks but the key is to stick with it, have they offered you any form of therapy of assistance other then that?
  15. mandyj101

    mandyj101 Well-Known Member

    So glad you sought some support mal x
    I was prescribed Citalopram too at first..Unfortunately it didnt work for me.. but i know lots of people who it has worked for..
    Let us know how you get on with it if you can..
    Wish you all the best :hug:
  16. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I have been here, and I can relate to how you feel. But know there is hope for you. This world does seem hopeless, but until you have tried, every option how can you be so sure that there isn't? Blessings..
  17. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    good job mally :hug:
  18. Bambi

    Bambi Well-Known Member

    Hey Mal how are you doing? I am around a lot if you need someone to talk to.
    I sure hope the meds help, they sure help me. I admire you strength in wanting to get better and taking the necessary steps to do so.
    Hope you are well and hope you check back in with us.
    love Bambi
  19. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hey Malcontent. I'm sorry to hear that you're still going through such a difficult time in your life. Depression and suicidal thoughts are horrible and very hard to overcome, but you have to try very hard to get your life back together. Don't give up. :hug:
  20. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I think you are amazing for having the strength to get help!!!! when my life stopped working I realized that I was looking in the worng direction for happiness. Eventually my path led me to develop my spiritual life. There I have found the only happiness I have ever known. I urge you to pray for help and I will pray for you. You need to find a reason to be here perhaps and understand why you are here. My path saved me in some very hopeless places. But my path is not what you need. You need to follow your path! Please consider developing a spiritual focus. Look for the answers you need and they will find you. Reach out for it all. I've been to some pretty sad defeated places,but faith found me. It will find you too.

    Write me if you feel down,

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