I can't go on like this. I'm suicidal all the time, every fucking day. Even when good things happen I think I should kill myself because it's never gonna get better than this. I know I need to do something about it but I don't know what. I've tried everything I can, been to the doctor so many times but I can't get the help I really need cos I can never tell them the truth. If I tell my doctor I want to kill myself they'd have to section me and I know that wont help. I don't want to die but I want to kill myself. I can't do this. I'm not depressed, I actually quite like myself, I can see hope for the future, I keep myself busy, I do everything I'm supposed to combat depression. It's not depression. I just think of suicide constantly, I can't see the point in not doing it. There's nothing to stop me, nothing to keep me here. I don't want to do it, I want to be free of these thoughts but they wont stop.